Underwear Kisses

A Navy buddy of mine, Don Armstrong (RIP buddy) had terrible hemorrhoids-- they would bleed and make perfect doll-sized kiss marks inside his underwear.

Don's Wife: "Don! You sick fuck! Did you pay a midget to wear lipstick and kiss your goddamn underwear?"
Don: "No honey... those are from my hemorrhoids."
Don's Wife: "... you mean this is actually... blood?"
Don: "It's best to think of them as Underwear Kisses."

by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker August 3, 2018

7-layer underwear wrecker

The massive skid mark left behind after eating, digesting, and farting out Taco Bell. These usually can NOT be washed away.

I am not gonna eat at Taco Bell for awhile, I destroyed my skivies with a 7-layer underwear wrecker. It will never come out.

by Mutchler January 20, 2006

squirrel’s underwear

(n.) A facial hair configuration that consists of a moustache and soul patch.;

My god I love that squirrel’s underwear on you, it makes you look so much older.

by JSloppyola December 31, 2010

A HUMAN SKIDMARK ON THE UNDERWEAR OF LIFE

A contemptible and low-life individual;
a person who's a waste of oxygen and flesh; the ultimate scumbag of existence!

Pete's wife aptly labeled him as a "human skidmark on the underwear of life" when he forgot to acknowledge their 20th wedding anniversary by having an illicit fling with the baby-sitter at the local hotel.

by weave January 28, 2007

goblin underwear song

an old korean folklore song

SPOILER:
referred to in the Korean drama "Goblin" by the grim reaper while folding underwear

The goblin underwear song was hummed by the grim reaper, and this irritated the goblin.

by outofthesquare February 12, 2017

black underwear

A type of lingerie that is really better off sitting on the ground. Usually indicates the wearer's desire for sex.

I want sex tonight, so I shall wear black underwear.

by Me! June 15, 2004

underwear gnome economics

A business model in which a company may have great offerings, but does not necessarily great profits due to a lack of stratedgy or how the business is run.

Outlined in an episode of South Park, where gnomes are stealing the town's underwear. The gnome's plan is to...
Step One: Collect underwear.
Step Three: Profit.

WebMD's underwear gnome economics.
Step One: 'Provide connectivity and a full suite of services to the healthcare industry that improve administrative efficiencies and clinical effectiveness enabling high-quality patient care.'
Step Two:
Step Three: Profit.

by -Razor May 21, 2008