when finals sneak up on unwitting college students, libraries, study rooms and coffee shops (wherever they have free wifi to satisfy facebook addiction) start to fill up to the brim with college students with their books and notes, a curious thing occurs.
People around you will suddenly become more and more attractive the closer you get to finals, even when they are stylishly unkempt or reeking of red bull and cigarettes. This anomalous phenomenon can be attributed to many factors; procrastination induced horniness, sudden onset of booksmarts causing a sharp drop in common sense, or all that adderall, caffiene, taurine, nicotine suddenly kicking in at the same time to create a clusterfuck of bad ideas.
This, my educated friends, is stress goggles. Just like its early october counterpart - Beer goggles, stress goggles turn bad ideas into good ideas and gives courage to the truly dimwitted. After fifteen redbulls, two tabs of addy, and a pack of marlboros, the only bad decision is an unmade one.
Upon discovery of symptoms such as lusting after unattractive members of the opposite sex, licking things that normally shouldn't be licked, breaking the three second rule, a good friend must properly restrain to the sufferer, so no one actually gets hurt. Real friends don't let real friends hook up before finals.
Just like beer goggles, the next day can be filled with regret after sleeping off all the uppers.
People around you will suddenly become more and more attractive the closer you get to finals, even when they are stylishly unkempt or reeking of red bull and cigarettes. This anomalous phenomenon can be attributed to many factors; procrastination induced horniness, sudden onset of booksmarts causing a sharp drop in common sense, or all that adderall, caffiene, taurine, nicotine suddenly kicking in at the same time to create a clusterfuck of bad ideas.
This, my educated friends, is stress goggles. Just like its early october counterpart - Beer goggles, stress goggles turn bad ideas into good ideas and gives courage to the truly dimwitted. After fifteen redbulls, two tabs of addy, and a pack of marlboros, the only bad decision is an unmade one.
Upon discovery of symptoms such as lusting after unattractive members of the opposite sex, licking things that normally shouldn't be licked, breaking the three second rule, a good friend must properly restrain to the sufferer, so no one actually gets hurt. Real friends don't let real friends hook up before finals.
Just like beer goggles, the next day can be filled with regret after sleeping off all the uppers.
below is an actual documented conversation:
1. dude i think i'm in love man, i never knew i liked brunettes, but she's really somethin else man
2. ok first of all, that's a dude. take it easy on the redbulls
1. you know what? love knows no boundaries, and gender is a boundary, i say screw society and screw this paper i have to write!
2. dude you've got the stress goggles like the biznitch. calm the fuck down or you'll wake up regrettin it tomorrow.
1. thanks man i knew i could count on you
1. dude i think i'm in love man, i never knew i liked brunettes, but she's really somethin else man
2. ok first of all, that's a dude. take it easy on the redbulls
1. you know what? love knows no boundaries, and gender is a boundary, i say screw society and screw this paper i have to write!
2. dude you've got the stress goggles like the biznitch. calm the fuck down or you'll wake up regrettin it tomorrow.
1. thanks man i knew i could count on you
by UCDPWNS December 3, 2010
Get the stress goggles mug.Placing each individual testicle over a poor suspect's eye, causing a goggle effect. The term african is in refrence to the darkness it creates when one tries to see through the impenitrating depths of his buddy's bowsack.
by Clyde T. Oris November 16, 2006
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by damnitwayner October 21, 2010
Get the Dry spell goggles mug.The phenomenon wherein females appear much hotter when driving than outside of a vehicle. Phenomenon is magnified when sunglasses are worn and exponentially increased when the car is also desirable to men.
Did you see that brunette with the dark shades driving the blue STI??!! Was she hot or did I just have my car goggles on?
by xmanSTi January 20, 2009
Get the Car Goggles mug.Designer sunglasses of the feminine sort that scream wealth, glamour, and sophistication. The trend (as with most things trendy)seems to be the bigger, the better. In addition to blocking out rays from suns in distant galaxies, serving as a racoonine substitute for makeup, and masking your blood-shot, coke-glazed eyes from prying gazes; these sunglasses do tremendous wonders for the feminine mystique. Must have accessories include the latest model camera-phone, a lit cigarette (preferably menthol), ugg-style boots, and a frilly mini-skirt.
Samantha's new bitch goggles failed to hide the haggard features brought on by lengthy tanning sessions, chain-smoking, and excessive partying.
by Gregory Barlikas June 29, 2005
Get the Bitch Goggles mug.The eyesight you have when one is drunk. Which leads your inhibitions to be lower and one you wouldn't normally be attracted to looks real good.
by Princess Parneet February 13, 2009
Get the drunk goggles mug.A condition that occurs when a cadet is at New York Maritime College for too long, resualting in an illision that makes females more attractive than they really are. Similar to beer goggles, the two should never be combined in an unsafe area. The effects of the combination of the two are catastrophic, often resaulting in massive quantities of shame and ridicule by peers. There is, in fact, an equation that describes the potency of Maritime Goggles, h+(.15w)=mgh, with h being equal to the initial hotness of the chick, w being equal to the number of consecutive weeks a cadet is stuck on campus )whithout being off campus for a span of >1week), and mgh being equal to the maritime goggle hotness, or the final hotness of the chick.
Maritime Cadet: "Wow, look at that hottie in the mini-skirt!"
Normal Dude: "Uh, bro, she's no better than a 6."
Maritime Cadet: "Damn maritime goggles again, ive been stuck there too long."
if a girl is a 6 to one uneffected by maritime goggles, and is seen afer a cadet has been stuck on campus for 7 weeks, then she is now a 7.05 under maritime goggles, because 6+(.15*7)=7.05. The mgh potancy factor would be 1.05
Normal Dude: "Uh, bro, she's no better than a 6."
Maritime Cadet: "Damn maritime goggles again, ive been stuck there too long."
if a girl is a 6 to one uneffected by maritime goggles, and is seen afer a cadet has been stuck on campus for 7 weeks, then she is now a 7.05 under maritime goggles, because 6+(.15*7)=7.05. The mgh potancy factor would be 1.05
by MSA6219 October 2, 2009
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