Portion Distortion

The act of making a meal much larger than it should be; hence, you get fat on three meals a day.

Guy 1: Holy shit, how large is that lasagna you're eating? That's enough for at least two people!

Guy 2: So what?

Guy 1: It's portion distortion!

by P R Me June 28, 2010

Money Distortion Field

The effects of an amount of money so large that it warps and distorts legal, political, and social systems that get near it. This is analogous to a black hole's gravity well that can force light which normally travels in straight lines to travel in a path that looks curved.

"That Madoff guy generated such a large money distortion field with his Ponzi scheme that he'll never go to jail!"

by Dr. Dave da Brewmeister February 2, 2009

distortionist

A word used to describe that someone is broken inside or mistreated.

I met a distortionist person.

by Randomassguy9001 September 17, 2017

mistortion

Typically used to describe something epic, haunting & hardcore. Mistortion can be referred similar to that of dark matter due to its unknown, empowering energy and overwhelming presence.

Mistortion coming at you like a backyard abortion

by hakkattack October 27, 2017

Fistration

When your trying to grab life by the balls and life grabs your balls instead

When trying to do and be the best a person can be and something happens to mess shit up it's a fistration

by London lemongrass February 27, 2019

Facial Distortion Syndrome

The disease in which the afflicted person(s) unconsciously makes a face that could be interpreted as sexual arousal, constipation, or insanity.

Dont worry Hector, he doesn't think your hot, he just has Facial Distortion Syndrome

by Facial Distortion Syn Survivor October 26, 2009

shape distortion

FAT!, overweight!, protoplasmatically 'challenged', colloq; 'morphoplasty'

a "politically correct" term for those whose bodies 'go to seed' by either a hearty appetite!, (and/or poor diet) no exercise; or BOTH!

the ability of a human to become pear or blob shaped, thanks to the shape distorting influences of 'modern times'

the holidays specialize in shape distortion!!

jane became a victim of shape distortion after she turned forty!

jim was once a body-builder, but now looked like the michelin man, thanks to shape distortion...

john thought he saw the goodyear blimp, but it was just a shape distorted human...

judy 'lost' her butt AND arms! thanks to shape distortion!

by michael foolsley November 23, 2011