Fingernail Lottery

Risky game of chance, typically played by the lower classes or students, where a much-needed visit to the toilet is followed by the depressing realisation that there is a very limited amount of toilet paper at the user´s disposal.

Guy 1: "Last night, Mandy invited me round for a free manicure as part of her beautician´s course."

Guy 2: "Wow, she is so hot. How did it go?"

Guy 1: "Pretty well until it became abundantly clear that I play the Fingernail Lottery every week."

"Such was my urgent need, I locked the toilet door in great haste, lowered my britches and dropped some friends off at the pool. Only then did I note the dire lack of toilet tissue. My heart sank in the sad knowledge that I would have to play the Fingernail Lottery."
Hard Times, Charles Dickens

by Francois Fromage June 10, 2010

Fingermaile

A finger shroud to protect the finger from incoming faecal matter whilst fingering a man's anus.

Person 1 - "I was fingering this guy last night-"
Person 2 - "Were you using a fingermaile?"
Person 1 - "No I got shit under my nail"
Person 2 - "Damn, that's nasty!"

by hammerhead morty September 27, 2017

fingernail shrapnel

The projectile fingernail clippings that fly off on random trajectories when the nails are clipped.Most dangerous are the eye shrapnel.Most embarrassing is the shrapnel that you couldn't see where it went only to find out later from a friend at work that you have a fingernail clipping in your hair.

I now wear goggles when clipping my nails to protect my eyes from fingernail shrapnel.

by wolfbait51 May 21, 2011

fingernailpiss

1. An exclamatory term used to describe surprise, excitement, anger, or pain.

2. Used to describe a state of unpleasantness or discomfort.

Abbreviated FNP and pronounced "effinpee" as an abbreviation.

1. (Stubs toe) "Ahh fingernailpiss that hurt!"
2. "Fingernailpiss, you scared me!"
3. "She looks like fingernailpiss."
4. "FNP! I forgot to turn in that homework assignment!"

by Anthony Fleck April 1, 2008

fingernail fudge

the feces under you fingernail after you have had your finger up a woman's ass. Often goes unnoticed at first due to the excitement of the moment when fucking her pussy and fingering her ass simultaneously.

I washed my hands but there was still a trace of fingernail fudge from when I was with Sherry.

by Woody Thomas September 20, 2008

Finger Nails

Girls cut these short on their index & middle fingers

"Ow I scratched myself"

by Bert Anernie December 12, 2003

Fingerfail

When one's fingers do not do as they are wanted to do. The fingers will mess up and aggravate the person attached to them.

Person A:
Dude! Do you wanna see my togue piercing?

Person B:
A togue is a lake trout, and I'm pretty sure you didn't get that pierced. Did you mean to say "tongue?"

Person A:

Yeah, I meant tongue. I had a fingerfail.

by HolyRollerWithASpaceship February 10, 2010