Custody By Default

When you don't actually get custody of your children, however they turn 18 and can do whatever they want anyways.

Lindsey claims she won her custody case however it was custody by default because her daughter turned 18.

by Turd Flusher Magoo July 24, 2023

custody hangover

When a complicated holiday visitation schedule was agreed upon when you were a child and your parents divorced, and violating it now (years after it has legally expired) would start world war 3 in your family.

"Why don't you and Darren spend Christmas together? You've been dating for 5 years!"
"Oh, I still have a custody hangover."

by firefoxx66 December 15, 2016

Joint Custody

When you know you can't finish a joint on your own, so you share it with a homie.

Kaitlin: "Hey, I want to buy a joint but I get way too blitzed when I smoke by myself "

Tim: "no problem, wanna have joint custody? I'll split it with you!"

by Amy911 October 20, 2017

Joint custody

When you have legal rights to demand a toke of your buddy's spliff

"Hey, I have joint custody over your Mary Jane!"

"Fuck off bro, god damn!"

by SummonerofFaiths July 5, 2020

Custody-by-Cop

The American practice of circumventing due process rights and constitutional guarantees to life and liberty by using typically fake domestic violence claims against a partner to secure children in a stalemate developed by neither party voluntarily willing to move out of a home or use the court process to decide custody issues.

Flummuxed by the reality their child was raised from birth by a stay at home dad, the mother crafted a custody-by-cop plan to call police faking violence towards her which resulted in the father being arrested and prohibited from returning to the home later.

by Hedonist2025 August 20, 2025

Custodial entertainer

The person who spends more time with a child than the actual parents.

"That's my Grandma Linda, she's my custodial entertainer" Lilly said.

by billyboombox June 2, 2016