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bible

An ancient novel full of murder, corruption, homosexuality, bestiality, incest and cruelty. It is often read to children on Sunday.
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The Bible

A book written by a bunch of hippies, about 2000 years ago, who were smoking some serious hash at the time. Never actually figured for their text to be taken seriously.
"Hey, Josh, dude, let's put some shit in their about a guy, right?"

"Yeah, rad man, and he can be like... uh, tossed overboard into the, uh, like ocean, right?"

"Cool, and then, like... a giant fish, just like, comes up and swallows him, man."

"AWWWWH, far out man!"

"And he could then, like, chill in the fish for a few days, before it like... spits him back out, you know?"

"Chilled man."

"What should we call this book, yo?"

"How about, like, someting that sounds like Babel."

"Yeah, like the town."

"Only, bib... Bibe.... oh, The Bible!"

"Holy shit man!"
by Degree7 July 9, 2009
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bible

The Bible in 50 words...

God made, Adam bit, Noah arked, Abraham split, Joseph ruled, Jacob fooled,Bush talked, Moses balked, Pharaoh plagued, people walked, sea divided, tablets guided, Promise landed, Saul freaked, David peeked, prophets warned, Jesus born, God walked, love talked, anger crucified, hope died, Love rose, Spirit flamed, Word spread, God remained.
- What other book has all the words from the Bible?
- A dictionary.
by alvit May 20, 2009
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Bible

A large book well over 1,000 pages written about a single subject (i.e. Christianity, chicken, heck, even a dictionary could be the bible of words.).
Jake: "Hey guys! Wanna read my Gun Bible?"
Nick: "No! The Holy Christian Bible is where it's at."
Kyle: "But my Chicken Cooking Bible is the only way to go!"
by crisisT47 July 15, 2016
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Bible

If the bible says it, its gotta be true
by Mr. Seuss, PhD November 22, 2011
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bible

The most controversial book ever. Some people find truth and happiness, some people hate it, and others kill because of it.
The Bible is what you make it.
by _culture_ November 11, 2008
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bible

a bullshit book dumbass parents force their kids to read every sunday when they should be watching football
Dude why do you have a bible?
by 69cookie666 September 18, 2016
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