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Faff King

To completely waste time and to never finish a simple task and ignore the others around you.
"Hey Andrew can u help me upstairs"
"sure thing just finish this"

PROBLEM IS ANDREW NEVER FINISHES ANYTHING
WHY AREN'T YOU THE FAFF KING OF THE DAY
by urbankat11 February 1, 2018
mugGet the Faff Kingmug.

faff [faffer]

Brit to spend your time doing a lot of unimportant things instead of the thing you should be doing
I wish you'd stop faffing about and do something useful! Cambridge International Dictionary of Phrasal Verbs
by Nina24 June 30, 2005
mugGet the faff [faffer]mug.

FaFF

Boy 1: Did Elvis die on a toilet?
Boy 2: Yea, I think
Boy 1: I bet that toilet would FaFF
by Twohitem January 8, 2010
mugGet the FaFFmug.

Faff Queen

A camp member of either sex who spends a vast quantity of time doing seemingly nothing, cannot do anything quickly even when rushed.
Come on Ishaan, stop being such a Faff Queen and hand me the fire extinguisher.
by TMGP January 22, 2005
mugGet the Faff Queenmug.

baby faff

A cleany kept, shaven or waxed vagina; mirroring that of a prepubescent little girl.
I shaved earlier; check out my baby faff
by babyfafflover May 23, 2007
mugGet the baby faffmug.

guilt-free faff

To faff without any pressing obligations.

NB There is disagreement as to whether the guilt-free faff is possible on the basis that faffing can only be done when there is something more important or pressing to do.
I have finally finished my assignment and can have a guilt-free faff about on the internet.

It was raining outside and his meeting was cancelled so Doug decided to rub one out in front of the TV and generally have a guilt-free faff around the house.
by Holamigos October 25, 2009
mugGet the guilt-free faffmug.

Faff

The slithery and noxious mixture of poseur intellectual effluvia and anal mucosa secretions that flows from the eunuch holes and/or brain cloacas of deluded, over-the-hill malcontents. Of no known scientific, commercial, or spiritual value.
Rideforever keeps leaving faff stains behind whenever he sits on the upholstery!
by Numpumpum March 24, 2020
mugGet the Faffmug.

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