ah jesus christ

a think i cant stop saying

ah jesus christ

by person who writes definoitonss December 13, 2020

marijuana jesus

marijuana jesus is a person who smokes the holy plant cannabis, walks on water, and is made up.

marijuana jesus: that was some nice bud judas
judas: im gonna go betray you and smoke all your weed

by marijuana jesus December 09, 2016

Jesus Apex

1) the Good Friday which occurs during your 33rd year (I.e. The Jesus was crucified)

2) the point in ones life at which their moral worth substantially their immoral worth

1) Man, as long as I don't get crucified on Good Friday, I'll have made it past my Jesus apex

2) I reached my Jesus apex today when I saved a boat of orphans from falling into that volcano and pretended to listen to my mom on the phone for 2 hours

by twatwaffle3000 February 05, 2017

Jesus would be an army

The Fandom of the boy group BTS is called ARMY and some of them made the term "Jesus would be an army". If Jesus would still be alive, he would definitely be an army, because nobody can resist BTS.

Jesus would be an army. PERIODT.

by KIMCHIENTERTAINMENT June 19, 2020

Jesus Boner

A holy boner

Holy sh*t you have a jesus boner

by trooperclonerex September 12, 2018

April Jesus

Is typically any hot girl that colours her hair different primary colours on a regular weekly basis and struts around with a beautiful figure. She's the type of girl who isn't afraid to take photos in alleys in your downtown districts while in the rain. Hence April as in April showers and her beautiful figure is where Jesus' miracle of giving beauty comes in. Hence April Jesus.

Hey, check out April Jesus over there. Woot woot!

Look at those April Jesus' (used when seeing a big group of hot girls with primary hair colour)
Dam, she's an ugly April Jesus. (used when you see an ugly girl with a primary hair colour. so.. an April Jesus reject or a weeaboo)
Hey, I just saw April Jesus walking in the park.
Fuck you April Jesus! (used when upset with an April Jesus)

by lilacgirl97 May 26, 2022

Pulled a Jesus

Getting someone a gift for your own birthday?

"Dude you're gonna love my gift for you"
"Isn't it your birthday?"
"I pulled a Jesus"

by themagnificentstarfish March 30, 2024