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Jesus Lansus

A term that describes, when your really surprised, confused, mad or rattled?
Bernie: Hey Pev, guess what... Skelator is in front of the house!

Pev: Oh my Jesus Lansus
by Darson Bishop May 3, 2011
mugGet the Jesus Lansusmug.

Jesus christ

Someone who is alive and almighty who forgives you for your sins someone who is very reliable . The person to look past your past and show true love .
I was at at church and pastor said that Jesus Christ is the one who died for our sins . And arouse again 3 days later, that doesn't make since . U can't die and rise again you are a zombie .. No actually if you read your bible you'll actually see that he was destined before time to do this . So much that satin put in the kings head during that time to kill all the first borns. Jesus destiny still lived on bc god may the way for Mary and Joseph to hide and be protected . Before he died they beat him so much bc they thought he was a joke saying he's the son of god. All the blood is an an expression of forgiveness for your sins that Jesus takes the punishment for. They also made him carry the cross that he died on to say in the walk with christ you'll will have to pick up your own cross and keep walking . It's only for the strong ones who can't take a beating and keep stepping forward. Not really picking up a cross just pick up your emotional burden or physical burden and keep moving.
by RomansEmpirekilledjesus March 23, 2023
mugGet the Jesus christmug.

black jesus

A term referring to an African American with extraordinary talent.
Michael Jordan advised the player who was guarding him not to mess wih "black Jesus."
by Originnone May 22, 2016
mugGet the black jesusmug.

jesus juarez

Fat shit who doesn't do there homework and watches tik tok during his class and smells like are pit. And also doesn't brush there teeth
"Did you go to jesus Juarez' house" "yah" "how did you survive" "I just was holding my breath " "dam I got to try that"
by Not skinny kid November 1, 2020
mugGet the jesus juarezmug.

jumping jack jesus

An attempt to jump SF to Alcatraz on a ramp built for Pastrana to do using only Element 115.
Bird_ This is the shit Lazar sent me.
Pastrana_ Good????..
Bird_ It's OK.

SNOOP DOG_ shit GaryMike...
li da jumping jack jesus
Pastrana_ What about GARYMIKE???
Craig_ yep. go get em Tiger.
Aaron. I love you Garymike.
by craigbird1968 January 28, 2021
mugGet the jumping jack jesusmug.

chunky jesus

If your priest is a fat fuck call him a chunky Jesus

Any fat Jesus worshippers are called chunky Jesus servants
Person 1:yo yo yo look are priest is a fat bitch

Person 2: lol it’s called a chunky Jesus Carl get your facts right
by Yummy nut February 20, 2019
mugGet the chunky jesusmug.

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