St. Jesus Malverde

The patron saint of drug dealers.

'Dear St. Jesus Malverde, may my sneakers be tied tight and the pigs be fat and slow.

by ponderprotostar March 1, 2017

jesus

the definition of perfection a handsome boy he has beautiful eyes and a gorgeous smile everything about him is sweet and kind he’s an extraordinary guy and he’s the person i’m gonna marry one day because he’s my other half

jesus is the love of my life and will continue to be forever

by hehehsjisus April 26, 2022

jetway jesus

The act of a person using a wheelchair to obtain early boarding on a (usually) Southwest Airlines flight, only to miraculously be cured and not require the wheelchair to deplane at the destination. The scourge of passengers who follow the rules because those passengers board first and take up the prime front seats. Quite common on flights to Florida.

We had eight Jetway Jesus passengers on our flight.

by Iureport March 27, 2024

jesus

me, i'm very obviously jesus

Me: Hello
Everyone: Oh my god! It's literally Jesus Christ!

by Unavailable is unavailably May 25, 2022

Jesus

Our savior

Jesus is our savior!
In God we trust.

by MunchbunchLunch March 14, 2023

Polish Jesus

Very cool kid known as "chill guy" or "depression god"
Long-hair guy, no-smoke and Shephard lover and not sure about that
Loves life and no smoke for sureee
When they ask me: "Watchuuu doinggg?" I answer: " VINTAGE and I'm good"

Girl 1: Have you seen the new student Polish Jesus, he looks quite focus on studies and minimalistic
Girl 2: Are you sureeeee&watchuu doinggg???
Girl 3: Shephard likes this Polish Jesus for sureeee.

by Lil Khan December 11, 2019

Jesus

He is obviously Hispanic with an uncircumcised dick the size of a tic-tac. He will ALWAYS cheat on you and lie about it. He thinks he’s amazing but in reality he has very low self confidence. He’s a sex addict who will always break your heart.

“I can’t believe that Jesus cheated on me with my best friend”
“Why does this Jesus penis look like a turtle In it’s shell”

by Lukewarmlady April 2, 2022