Jesus Burrito

1. a theoretical burrito that Jesus Christ makes so hot that even he himself cannot eat it (usually said to be microwaved).
2. any burrito that is so hot that it can't be eaten by a mortal human (although Jesus probably could).
3. A burrito that is so hot it makes you see Jesus.
4. Archaic: A burrito that is so hot that it burns the sin right outta ya.
5. Noun: Another name for the Holy Corpse Parts in Jojo's Bizzare Adventure, Specifically Eyes of Heaven, seeing as they look like burritos in the game

"Oh, we got another Jesus Burrito" - Joel

by Theawsomudkip December 7, 2020

Jesus Loves You

A statement which you respond to by saying "IN THE ASS"! You can also initiate the conversation yourself by telling someone that Jesus loves them. After hesitating a bit, you can add the additional "IN THE ASS" part to the end of your statement.

"Jesus loves you... IN THE ASS!"

by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 29, 2023

Jesus

He is obviously Hispanic with an uncircumcised dick the size of a tic-tac. He will ALWAYS cheat on you and lie about it. He thinks he’s amazing but in reality he has very low self confidence. He’s a sex addict who will always break your heart.

“I can’t believe that Jesus cheated on me with my best friend”
“Why does this Jesus penis look like a turtle In it’s shell”

by Lukewarmlady April 2, 2022

jetway jesus

The act of a person using a wheelchair to obtain early boarding on a (usually) Southwest Airlines flight, only to miraculously be cured and not require the wheelchair to deplane at the destination. The scourge of passengers who follow the rules because those passengers board first and take up the prime front seats. Quite common on flights to Florida.

We had eight Jetway Jesus passengers on our flight.

by Iureport March 27, 2024

jesus chfist

i spelld jesus chris twrpng dajmmit

frick ims tupid jesus chfist

by hannahahnahah October 29, 2019

Black Jesus

A cutaway gag from family guy that is way more funnier if you actually watch the clip

“I rode into town on an ass

Yo mama’s ass!”

-Black Jesus

by MUGlol69 October 10, 2021

Polish Jesus

Very cool kid known as "chill guy" or "depression god"
Long-hair guy, no-smoke and Shephard lover and not sure about that
Loves life and no smoke for sureee
When they ask me: "Watchuuu doinggg?" I answer: " VINTAGE and I'm good"

Girl 1: Have you seen the new student Polish Jesus, he looks quite focus on studies and minimalistic
Girl 2: Are you sureeeee&watchuu doinggg???
Girl 3: Shephard likes this Polish Jesus for sureeee.

by Lil Khan December 11, 2019