That digit which, having been withdrawn from an anus, is now dry and whose owner is inclined to sniff repeatedly and contentedly along the length of it.
by raped ape February 6, 2005
Get the monkey finger mug.Of course Manitoba is essentially the French Dakota. And everyone knows that the Dakotas are home to some of the most sexually depraved humans this side of Bixby. Armed with that as background information, the Manitoba Monkey Wrench is the utensil that is found in every man’s tackle box, toolbox and utility belt. It is the very tool that can keep you alive on those subarctic nights in the local pub.
Now might be a good time for an illustrative story. Once there was a logger that frequented the long and lonesome roads between Winnipeg and Dauphin. While he has no doubt dipped his quill into the ink of every truck stop, rest stop and out-house prostitute on those roads, he does have taste. He knows that if a bawdy-house floozy has a large knot on the side of her head from contact with a swiftly exerted monkey wrench to the cranium of a Canuck slut, she is a price catch. This mandible indention is a bade of honor among the native hootch peddlers. He would not only pay her for her wares but also throw in a hearty salmon biscuit sammich with round bacon. They might also ice-skate on the frozen lakes (weather permitting) and rarely, but occasionally he might give her a handshake and a heart-felt “good job”.
Back to the definition… The Manitoba Monkey Wrench is to the Maple Leaf Madam as a hickey from Kenickie is to Rizzo. It’s not only something to cherish but to be worn with pride.
The Kicker: As with everything, sometimes the giver of the Manitoba Monkey Wrench can go overboard and hit the harlot too hard, those rendering her oral sexual skills as a thing of the past. Once this happens, the harlot becomes a short-order cook and invariably becomes a victim of Meth use.
Thirdly: If you’re lucky enough to encounter a lady of the night that is not only skilled in the arts of crushing her own pride but also knows how what the difference between a neutral-zone trap and a one-man fore check then by all means brand the woman as a madam worthy of Manitoba’s highest honor.
Now might be a good time for an illustrative story. Once there was a logger that frequented the long and lonesome roads between Winnipeg and Dauphin. While he has no doubt dipped his quill into the ink of every truck stop, rest stop and out-house prostitute on those roads, he does have taste. He knows that if a bawdy-house floozy has a large knot on the side of her head from contact with a swiftly exerted monkey wrench to the cranium of a Canuck slut, she is a price catch. This mandible indention is a bade of honor among the native hootch peddlers. He would not only pay her for her wares but also throw in a hearty salmon biscuit sammich with round bacon. They might also ice-skate on the frozen lakes (weather permitting) and rarely, but occasionally he might give her a handshake and a heart-felt “good job”.
Back to the definition… The Manitoba Monkey Wrench is to the Maple Leaf Madam as a hickey from Kenickie is to Rizzo. It’s not only something to cherish but to be worn with pride.
The Kicker: As with everything, sometimes the giver of the Manitoba Monkey Wrench can go overboard and hit the harlot too hard, those rendering her oral sexual skills as a thing of the past. Once this happens, the harlot becomes a short-order cook and invariably becomes a victim of Meth use.
Thirdly: If you’re lucky enough to encounter a lady of the night that is not only skilled in the arts of crushing her own pride but also knows how what the difference between a neutral-zone trap and a one-man fore check then by all means brand the woman as a madam worthy of Manitoba’s highest honor.
When Pierre saw Delorise turn around with a mouth full of Round Bacon, he could see the mark of the Manitoba Monkey Wrench and knew that this woman was worth more than an expired Trojan, she was worth a sporty stint of ice skating and some wool socks. For he had heard about the Manitoban mark of beauty but had never gazed upon its call with his natural eyes.
by BabySealClubSamich December 1, 2007
Get the Manitoba Monkey Wrench mug.Related Words
(noun) A male, traditionally of caucasion decent, who relentlessly engages himself in activities primarily including, but not limited to, anal and/or vaginal penetration or play of any kind (without shame) with a wild or domesticated jungle primate. See also: Nigger Lover.
by Donald Gordon June 12, 2008
Get the Race Monkey mug.An exclamation of dissatisfaction.
by Keta September 8, 2003
Get the monkeyseeds mug.overuse: "who the hell keeps monkey mitting all the damn toilet paper?"
mishandle: "Quit monkey mitting shit before you break something!"
abuse/destroy: "That bitch was monkey mitting the remote and now I have to walk to the damn tv!"
mishandle: "Quit monkey mitting shit before you break something!"
abuse/destroy: "That bitch was monkey mitting the remote and now I have to walk to the damn tv!"
by Chris Bailey December 10, 2003
Get the monkey mitt mug.a pair of shorts that are very short and tight such that the material is basically crammed into the folds of the vulva, nearly synonymous with "daisy dukes"
by Argonaut August 14, 2007
Get the monkey splitters mug.when a monkey is supposed to carry out a certain objective but becomes sidetracked by monkey circumstances
by brons December 30, 2007
Get the monkey footing mug.