me monster

Someone so self absorbed that no one else matters. Every bad event in their life must have a reason that excuses it.

If my child gets in trouble at school, it's because the teacher hates them.

If my child doesn't make the cheer team, it must be because she has short hair.

If my husband cheats on me, it must be caused by the medication he takes for a workman's comp injury.

If my son gets injured doing an activity that I know is dangerous and gets hurt, it must be the fault of the fireman who came to help him.

If I don't have enough money to pay my bills, or for Club soccer, or cheer, or back to school shopping, or college, I will get my kids to lie about their circumstances, I will fill out faulty claims to insurance, I will pretend to be unable to work, I will over inflate prices of repairs and lie to my landlord.
I am a me monster, how dare you focus on your life.

by 2kermitthefrog August 29, 2013

Frankensteins Monster

Any idea, craze or cultural phenomenon made up from otherwise long dead and/or unlikely parts but has for some reason recently sparked general interest, becomes a monster, and then when your thoroughly sick of the bastard you cant get rid of it!

Fucking hell, that bastard annoying frog doing engine noises has become a right Frankensteins Monster! Pass the pitch fork, someone!

by ..WiL May 19, 2005

tape monster

when your mom tries to wrap a present but instead covers it with tape in order to hide her crappy wrapping job

I got a total tape monster for my birthday! Im gonna need a machete to get that shit open.

by Graciela Mason April 23, 2009

Cooter Cookie Monster

The act of dying the hair on ones cooter blue and adhering googly eyes to it so that it resembles the "cookie monster". Another partner may then insert cookies into the vagina and proceed to consume them upon intercourse. The person who acts as the recipient of the cookies is known as the Cooter Cookie Monster

Chris: Dude, last night Rachel and I totally tried the Cooter Cookie Monster

Bob: Oh man that's hawt!!!

Chris: Yeah dude, I've still got cookie crumbs on my balls though!

Bob: Oh man, that's nasty!

by cookielovers June 4, 2009

horizontal monster mash

basically to have sex lying down, cannot be vertical
or doing the crazed dance of the time, also while lying down
also can mean 2 monsters having sex, lying down

i walked in a they were doing the horizontal monster mash

by Paublo Sanchez July 1, 2006

Tea Bag Monster

One who creeps from house to house at night and places his/hers, genetals upon ones forhead while one is sleeping.

Holy fuck balls, its the tea bag monster!

by MEOFF JACK March 10, 2004

Little Monster

Fans of Lady Gaga. Little Monsters are loyal to Lady Gaga, buy her singles, t-shirts, posters, you name it. Another name for Little Monsters are 'Super Fans' named by Lady Gaga herself for fans who would literally do anything for her.

Little Monsters often name themselves after her on twitter or tumblr and sometimes even insert it into their facebook name.
e.g. Twitter: '@NameGaga'
e.g. Tumblr: 'www.BornThisWay.tumblr.com
e.g. Facebook:'Name 'gaga Surname

Little Monsters go crazy at concerts of Lady Gaga and have been known to feint, cry and scream in hysterics. They often create fan mail/ letters/ flags and throw them on stage for 'Mother Monster.

Meeting Lady Gaga is a life ambition for most Little Monsters.

1) Lady Gaga : 'My Little Monsters, I love you!'

2) My friend is a Little Monster.

by BeccaGaga January 1, 2011