Hym "Amd you don't want me to submit to Jesus. You want me to submit to you by proxy. Jesus isn't here and even if he came back today I wouldn't submit to him. AND! AND... If he is real... He can't even do anything about it because I'm immortal."
by Hym Iam March 2, 2025
Get the Jesus mug.by Kachowism August 10, 2024
Get the Jesus spizzim mug.Yeah they aren't going to be in any order. It'll just be as I think of them. I actually thought of these a while ago but whatever...
Guard "Um, ah shit this is gonna suck- Harod? Um... King Harod?"
Harod "What!?"
Guard "Um... Shit... There's a guy running around saying he's the creature dawg."
Harod "Pft! What!?" *snickers*
Guard "Uh... Yeah... It's pretty bad man."
Harod "Wait, what?" 🤨
Guard "Yeah, no he is walkin on water and shit... Making fish-"
Harod "MAKING FISH! OH! OOOOOOH SHIT"
Guard "Yeah........"
Harod "OOOOOH SHIT! OH! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! OOOOOH! THIS!"
Guard "Yeah..."
Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"
Guard "I donno man..."
Harod "OOOOH SHIT.... He is going to fuck our shit UP MY GUY!"
Guard "Damn..."
Harod "Yeah! This is not a good thing. What's happening right now? We are fucked! Oh man- Where is it!? What is it even doing!? What do I even call it!?"
Guard "He's- Yeah... He's like a guy man. He's Jesus. He's got a name and everything. He's like a guy now... In the world. Just HERE."
Harod 😨
Guard "Yahp..."
Harod "Get it. Get rid of it. Wait! Bring it here... Bring it here I need to see it."
Guard "How... Am I supposed to..."
Harod "Bwah, shit I don't know... Get a bunch of guys. Grab him. Put him in a sack."
Guard *sigh*
Harod "Yeahyeah I know it's... Look. We gotta get it man. Holy shit this is really bad..."
Guard "Yeah... Alright..."
Harod "What!?"
Guard "Um... Shit... There's a guy running around saying he's the creature dawg."
Harod "Pft! What!?" *snickers*
Guard "Uh... Yeah... It's pretty bad man."
Harod "Wait, what?" 🤨
Guard "Yeah, no he is walkin on water and shit... Making fish-"
Harod "MAKING FISH! OH! OOOOOOH SHIT"
Guard "Yeah........"
Harod "OOOOOH SHIT! OH! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! OOOOOH! THIS!"
Guard "Yeah..."
Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"
Guard "I donno man..."
Harod "OOOOH SHIT.... He is going to fuck our shit UP MY GUY!"
Guard "Damn..."
Harod "Yeah! This is not a good thing. What's happening right now? We are fucked! Oh man- Where is it!? What is it even doing!? What do I even call it!?"
Guard "He's- Yeah... He's like a guy man. He's Jesus. He's got a name and everything. He's like a guy now... In the world. Just HERE."
Harod 😨
Guard "Yahp..."
Harod "Get it. Get rid of it. Wait! Bring it here... Bring it here I need to see it."
Guard "How... Am I supposed to..."
Harod "Bwah, shit I don't know... Get a bunch of guys. Grab him. Put him in a sack."
Guard *sigh*
Harod "Yeahyeah I know it's... Look. We gotta get it man. Holy shit this is really bad..."
Guard "Yeah... Alright..."
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
Get the Jesus mug.Hym "Yeah, no he IS Jesus Smuggling. He do be doing that. That's funny that you actually called him out for it. Even after the fact. It's so dishonest. By defining God thay way it implicit that the people who consider it an active and sentient being that has acted upon reality on several occasions by engaging in direct dialogue with key figures thought history. And he hates ME because his sophistry doesn't work on me."
by Hym Iam December 29, 2023
Get the Jesus Smuggling mug.A drug comprised of Acid and THC oil frozen with a piece of sheep's heart in the middle representing the sacrifice of the Lamb of God (Made in Ice Trays and crushed to be eaten).
Guy: Yo bro can I get some of that Jesus's Love?
Plug: Yeah dude it's 50 a piece you'll be tripping for weeks.
Plug: Yeah dude it's 50 a piece you'll be tripping for weeks.
by Bac Helor June 6, 2018
Get the Jesus's Love mug.That funny guy your middle age mom, 90 Year old grandpa and a couple of the neighbor kids talk about
They say he can perform miracles and heal people like fuckin shining diamond or some shit and that he’ll come back from the dead someday
I ain’t buying that nonsense!
Jesus more like jeSUS
Haha got em
They say he can perform miracles and heal people like fuckin shining diamond or some shit and that he’ll come back from the dead someday
I ain’t buying that nonsense!
Jesus more like jeSUS
Haha got em
Your Jesus obsessed mom: Ayy you know jebis is gonna judge yo ass for your sins someday right?
You: Nah homie that mf dead let’s get you your meds
Your mom: REEEEEEEEEE
You: Nah homie that mf dead let’s get you your meds
Your mom: REEEEEEEEEE
by VeryGoodwithWords May 16, 2021
Get the Jesus mug.A pick me boy who likes to follow around girls most commonly known for “playing for the wrong team” likes to be respectful upfront but a whore in person.
by Truthwithurmom November 21, 2023
Get the Jesus mug.