Jesus

That funny guy your middle age mom, 90 Year old grandpa and a couple of the neighbor kids talk about

They say he can perform miracles and heal people like fuckin shining diamond or some shit and that he’ll come back from the dead someday

I ain’t buying that nonsense!

Jesus more like jeSUS

Haha got em

Your Jesus obsessed mom: Ayy you know jebis is gonna judge yo ass for your sins someday right?

You: Nah homie that mf dead let’s get you your meds

Your mom: REEEEEEEEEE

by VeryGoodwithWords May 16, 2021

Jesus

A pick me boy who likes to follow around girls most commonly known for “playing for the wrong team” likes to be respectful upfront but a whore in person.

Jesus: hey guys
Girls: Help help leave me alone!

by Truthwithurmom November 21, 2023

jesus montano

a handsome man, that pulls many girls. he's very popular, and many people enjoy his company. he also tends to have a short temper but long penis.

That guy must be a Jesus Montano *heart eyes*

by GVibez November 17, 2016

Six Flags Over Jesus

A really big church.

I go to church at Six Flags Over Jesus.

by SB018 March 16, 2024

Jesus spizzim

When you jizz with no control

Yo dude, I tried not to cum, but Jesus spizzim happened, what do I do?

by Kachowism August 10, 2024

Jetway Jesus

Falsely needing wheelchairs at airports, to get priority boarding when getting ON the plane, but NO LONGER NEED THE WHEELCHAIRS upon arrival.

On that last flight, 14 passengers got on the plane by wheelchair, but by the time we got to Los Angeles, 10 of them had been miraculously healed by "Jetway Jesus!"

by NobodyHereButUsChickens May 26, 2024

I will send you to jesus

A sentence meaning that one is going to end someone's life.

Person 1: You are a noob.
Person 2: I will send you to jesus.

by elaboratescanner04 October 8, 2023