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go find jesus

When your credit card customer service agent is refusing to help you with an issue and they keep repeating something irrelevant to your current problem over and over and over again - so often that you finally get upset and raise your voice, and then they threaten to end the call as if that's a threat, so you ask for their employee number and they say, yes, I can give that to you. So you ask for it, and then they tell you their name only, so you ask for their employee number again. And then they get all scared and say: I told you my name. So you say: what am I supposed to do? Call this giant company back and ask for the most generic name ever? So he tells you that the call is being recorded at which point you inform him that "god hates liars and thieves" and then you pull the phone away from your ear, put the speaker end towards your mouth and say, go find jesus. Basically, you say this to a person who is being a ridiculous heathen.
Go find jesus *hangs up the phone*
by MeleeYourFace March 25, 2025
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Jesus Hair

1. Something unknown or mysterious, and/or with mysterious origins.

2. An object that is near impossible to find or get.
1.
Person A: What is kept inside this dungeon?

Person B: An artifact. Some sort of Jesus hair.

2.

Person A: What do I need to make said potion.

Person B: You'd need to find a Jesus hair kept somewhere in the distant lands.
by red circle July 23, 2025
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Jesus School

A school that prays a unessecary excessive amount of times a day. You spend so much money on school but it still manages to be broke
John asked his mom “ My school needs $50 from each student” mom then replies “why?” And John quickly says “wth mom it’s going broke”. Mom says “ oop that sounds like Jesus School “
by Urtletheturtle August 4, 2018
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Jumping for Jesus

The act of committing suicide by jumping off a high surface.
The victims of 9/11 were all Jumping for Jesus
by anonymous July 19, 2021
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Tranny Jesus

Mostly known for her moodboards and sense of humor, she likes to give advice to dolls who are struggling to transition and she gives them tips on how to pass even if they don’t have access to hormones. She also likes to think of herself as Wendy Williams but if she was TS (transsexual) because she likes to update on what the dolls are doing and does the hot topic on twitter whenever something messy happens. She has a hatred for gay boys that use doll appropriation and calls them out for it. Although, she’s not a very famous doll page, her goal followers is to have 10k+ followers so she can made a broadcast on instagram for the dolls to see.
Doll 1: “Omg have you seen this doll page named Tranny Jesus? She’s so funny.”

Doll 2: “Yes, I love her. I literally pray to Tranny Jesus that in the future that i look fish while transitioning 🎀”
by Tranny Jesus January 1, 2024
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Jesus

Jesus. Also known as James Buchanan Barnes, is a VERY good looking and VERY sexy individual.
“Omg is that Jesus?!”
No that’s Bucky Barnes.”
“Ohhh, he’s really hot.”
“Ikr!”
by NotGeorgia January 30, 2022
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Jesus it’s early

When you wake up at 3 in the afternoon and need a beer.
Jesus it’s early, lys, get me a beer!
by Junior A god August 1, 2018
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