Jesus

What my manager calls the church a few minutes up the road from my house

My manager when he drops me home: "I am going to take you to Jesus!"

by Jack Spank9049 January 7, 2023

Jesus

A guy named Jesus has many talents and is really good at being a dick when needed. But if you leave him alone, he can be a great friend, partner and lover. But the moment you push his buttons he’ll give you hell.

Someone-Why haven’t you done this?

Jesus- bitch mind your own business.

by Sausage! My ass!. November 23, 2021

Jesus

i fiction character

The bible was such a funny not real book, my favourite character was Jesus

by Sam lampost May 4, 2022

fried jesus

a man who makes the most delicious cannibalistic fried food. oh yes he makes it delicious....

Aw man, he's such a fried jesus

by DilandRick January 12, 2017

Coffee with Jesus

It’s an enema of cold coffee mixed with cocaine that is used before sex in the gay community.

Mike and Sam always have coffee with Jesus on Sunday.

by Mr El Conquistador May 20, 2022

Jesus Christ

The 2nd person in the trinity.

Jesus Christ: Jesus Christ is the son of God the Father. and he is also called the angel of YHWH in the Old Testament of the Bible. He came down to earth over 2000 years ago and he lived a sinless life and died for our sins. He was the ultimate sacrifice since he was God in the flesh, so his death meant that everybody's sins past present, and future were paid for. The only problem is, people actually have to accept his gift of salvation in order to receive it. You can choose to reject this gift.

by KekolordChri February 14, 2024

Jesus

The true reason for people to hit the gym and start repping. Every rep you make is a rep for Jesus. Because of the cross that is attached to his body he isn't able to rep anymore. This has caust a significant loss of gains. Every rep will make Jesus a proud boy, after al he was the establisher of fitness. Very old people remember him as the boy who carried a bigass piece of wood to the top of a hill. Later that day Jesus though: "what have i done" but that's an other story.

Because God is a shame of his weak son. He made people think repping is a bad thing, it will make Jesus look bigger if everyone else is a skinnymotherf*cker. So before you start repping, you have to ask for forgiveness for the gains you are about to receive.

Please come in. Welcom in my church, i can see you have done a lot of reps for Jesus.

by Heuswaar April 8, 2017