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April Jesus

Is typically any hot girl that colours her hair different primary colours on a regular weekly basis and struts around with a beautiful figure. She's the type of girl who isn't afraid to take photos in alleys in your downtown districts while in the rain. Hence April as in April showers and her beautiful figure is where Jesus' miracle of giving beauty comes in. Hence April Jesus.
Hey, check out April Jesus over there. Woot woot!

Look at those April Jesus' (used when seeing a big group of hot girls with primary hair colour)
Dam, she's an ugly April Jesus. (used when you see an ugly girl with a primary hair colour. so.. an April Jesus reject or a weeaboo)
Hey, I just saw April Jesus walking in the park.
Fuck you April Jesus! (used when upset with an April Jesus)
by lilacgirl97 May 26, 2022
mugGet the April Jesusmug.

Jesus Tear

that tear someone(preferably a chick) gets when she’s sucking your dick and goes to deep....
(on chick to another) i went down on him so deep i gag’d n got a jesus tear
by bootsherk March 27, 2018
mugGet the Jesus Tearmug.

Lutheran Jesus

It’s when you’re catholic friend with religious trauma finds random moments of blessings in everyday tasks.
Lutheran Jesus said I can’t come in the water right now. I don’t got to do anything!
by LandoFanF1 August 3, 2024
mugGet the Lutheran Jesusmug.

Bongrat Jesus

God in human form, but also a Bong rat (and therefore greater than God himself).
Only Bongrat Jesus himself could pull that off!
by (( (gyfgdfdf October 20, 2021
mugGet the Bongrat Jesusmug.

Jesus's Army

Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.
by Another pseudonymal August 5, 2022
mugGet the Jesus's Armymug.

Jesus

Homo walking hairy pig.
Likes ducks and is covered in pimples
The pig eats jesus is the same as saying jesus eats the jesus or jesus eats the pig or the pig eats the pig. All same meaning m8
by Showi April 19, 2018
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus cable

A type of cable that will send you or anyone who uses it to the afterlife (or to see Jesus)
Tech A:"Don't use that cable"
Normie:"Why"
Tech B:"It's a Jesus cable, and it'll kill you"
by afuckingtech February 11, 2024
mugGet the Jesus cablemug.

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