Fury Wank

A fury wank is when you furiously jerk-off to alleviate the symptoms of extreme blue balls quickly in the bathroom when you realize the girl you're with in the house won't blow you, done as quickly as possible to make her think its only a massive piss or a quick shit

"Shit man, the fury wank I had to do last night was mad!"

"Sorry babe, just gotta bust a fury.. I mean, take a piss!"

by Radioleg August 28, 2014

Bradworthy Wank

The act of masturbating in your living room while trying to get caught by the Google Street View car.

As soon as I saw the car coming round the corner by the Bradworthy Inn, I ran home, flopped it out and start it furiously Bashing the Bishop, in the hopes that the image of me choking my chicken would live forever on Google Street View.

Best Bradworthy Wank I ever had.

by EducatedBumpkin March 26, 2022

utility wank

Masturbation, not initiated out of sexual arousal, but to achieve a goal, like relieving pressure or to become tired.

I couldn't sleep, so I utility wanked.

I wasn't even horny, it was just a utility wank so I could go to sleep.

by Germaggeddon January 9, 2013

Eco Wank

Masterbation with the lights off.

Tim: I'm all about saving the planet, I even have Eco Wanks.
Mike: What the hell is that?!
Tim: Oh I just masterbate with the lights off.
Mike: Get away from me.

by magicalg March 14, 2010

Pan wanking

When cooking, you shake the pan backwards and forwards to stir or shake the contents without the use of a utensil.

Mostly done by chefs

"need a spoon?"
"no thanks, i'm happy pan wanking."

by Blue_devil February 28, 2009

wank up

Wank up is the art of wanking yourself awake first thing in the morning.

Dude I need to wank up before I get out of bed

by violet_ultra June 22, 2014

Terror Wank

To wank under extreme horror or terror, usually under extreme, life or death circumstances as a last attempt at pleasure. Characterized by furious masturbation accompanied by screams and shouts.

Captain Bob: "Attention passengers, fasten all safety belts-we are heading for a crash landing."
Terrified passenger: "Time for a terror wank..." *Fap fap fap*

by Nickwalks October 26, 2011