Tech Porn

A person who looks, reads & buys a lot of tech magazines.

Tech Porn Looking at & reading a lot of technology magazines makes a person stimulated.

by New User November 15, 2013

tech deck time

best video ever man funny thing guy cant tech deck what a funny video

yup

by jesse April 5, 2003

Tech Unfolded

A tech youtuber , from Nottingham England .

'Tech unfolded on youtube'

by Annonymus73874842739 October 21, 2020

tech tampon

a covert communication device inserted in the vagina of a secret-agent or sexy spy. The earliest models could only send an out-going message encoded by the secret-agent squeezing her vagina in Morse-code, which was then converted the kegel contractions into radio signals. The advantage of the device was that it was unlikely to be found after a thorough frisking or even a strip-search. In the event it was found, the secret-agent could merely explain that she was having her period (as the device looked like an ordinary tampon with the string serving as the antenna). An improved version of the device was later devised that could receive and convey incoming messages as well as communicating outgoing messages. The incoming message, also in Morse-code, was translated into vibrations that corresponded to the dots and dashes. While effective as a communication device, this newer version suffered from the draw-back that it tended to cause intense orgasms in the secret-agents and, as the tampon could not absorb all the natural orgasmic lubricant due to its being filled with electronic gadgetry, the orgasmic fluid would often carry the tampon-transponder out into the panties of the secret agent, and she would have to improvise a hasty trip to the lady's room to reinsert the device before she could resume communication.

The tech tampon was first used by super-models because spy agencies believed that the thinnest women had the tightest vaginas and would therefore be best able to squeeze the transponders with their vaginas to generate out-going messages. Unfortunately, the super-model secret-agents had sex so frequently, necessitating the removal of the tech tampon, that they were often out of communication, and less attractive secret agents had to be recruited.

by wouldaben December 16, 2010

tech tard

a person not intimately familiar with or that much cares about the lastest tech gadget or computer program available on the market

Him: I just got the latest iphone!

Her: Who cares, it'll be obsolete in 3 months. My cell doesn't even have a camera it's so old.

Me:Ha! Noob! My cell is so old it has a rotary dial. Beat that!

Him: You're such a tech tard.

by applz mccraken August 14, 2008

Tech'd

See Virginia Tech'd

I almost got tech'd at school today!

by Total Stranger May 4, 2007

Tech 'em up

When an IT professional using an array of mediums to communicate, most commonly, conference calls or emails containing technical jargon a normal or intellectually inferior employee or client won’t understand.

Don’t be fooled by imitators, techups are delivered at the highest level of IT from only the highest level of engineers.
"Dude, he's a jabroni just tech 'em up!"

"Dude, the guys in that NOC are Busch league, just tech 'em up!"

"Dude, he doesn’t know shit- Tech his ass up"

"Dude, you should have heard them on the bridge, I started teching them up and their network guys went silent."

Tim asks:
"Mike, what should I tell this guy, we reloaded his router by accident"

Mike replies:
"Tim, just tech 'em up!"

Tim replies:
Tech 'em up!? How!?

Mike replies:
You know?! Just say a bunch of IT acronyms like BGP,OSPF,TCP IP,EIGRP spanning tree, STFU, I know more than you. You just been teched up now get the fukk out of here. Oh yeah, ISIS and pim sparse mode too.

The user will announce his compliance via spoken word or by nodding his head dismally and walk away with headache. Best thing about an old fashioned techup is the aforementioned user will never ask you a question again.

Tim:
Perfect, thanks Mike!

Mike:
NP

by K-Dog09 July 29, 2009