Shahi Naan Kebab
(noun)
The Southall sacrament, performed only inside the most iconic of the Shahi Naan Kebabs - the one perched on the bridge by Southall Station.
It starts innocent: A group of Punjabi dudes loaded on Jameson enter the kebab shop. Jaspal orders a large lamb shish. But while the naan’s heating, Gurdeep’s already bent over the counter where they usually carve the meat. The chef, still rocking his greasy apron, doesn’t give a fuck - he just keeps shaving doner slices while using the same tongs to spread chilli sauce straight into Balraj’s crack. Meanwhile, the server is behind the till with his gloves still on, wanking Manpreet off like it’s part of the meal deal, slapping garlic mayo across his shaft in perfect zig-zags.
Tony gets body-slammed onto the salad counter - shredded lettuce and diced onions sticking to his sweaty back like confetti - while Harry’s cock disappears between the naan stackers by the grill. The “naan” part? That’s when the chef slaps a fresh butter naan straight onto Gurdeep’s arse like a hot compress. The “kebab”? A spitroast so deep the sneeze guard rattles, with the server chanting “extra sauce, bossman!” mid-thrust.
By the end, the Coke fridge is splattered, the floor’s a minefield of cum, chilli, and naan crumbs, and the chef casually wipes the counter down before handing the next customer their order — like nothing ever happened.
(noun)
The Southall sacrament, performed only inside the most iconic of the Shahi Naan Kebabs - the one perched on the bridge by Southall Station.
It starts innocent: A group of Punjabi dudes loaded on Jameson enter the kebab shop. Jaspal orders a large lamb shish. But while the naan’s heating, Gurdeep’s already bent over the counter where they usually carve the meat. The chef, still rocking his greasy apron, doesn’t give a fuck - he just keeps shaving doner slices while using the same tongs to spread chilli sauce straight into Balraj’s crack. Meanwhile, the server is behind the till with his gloves still on, wanking Manpreet off like it’s part of the meal deal, slapping garlic mayo across his shaft in perfect zig-zags.
Tony gets body-slammed onto the salad counter - shredded lettuce and diced onions sticking to his sweaty back like confetti - while Harry’s cock disappears between the naan stackers by the grill. The “naan” part? That’s when the chef slaps a fresh butter naan straight onto Gurdeep’s arse like a hot compress. The “kebab”? A spitroast so deep the sneeze guard rattles, with the server chanting “extra sauce, bossman!” mid-thrust.
By the end, the Coke fridge is splattered, the floor’s a minefield of cum, chilli, and naan crumbs, and the chef casually wipes the counter down before handing the next customer their order — like nothing ever happened.
Example in a sentence:
“Fam, I popped into Shahi Naan Kebab by Southall Station and swear the chef had one hand on the doner knife and the other inside Balraj — proper Shahi Naan Kebab special.”
“Fam, I popped into Shahi Naan Kebab by Southall Station and swear the chef had one hand on the doner knife and the other inside Balraj — proper Shahi Naan Kebab special.”
by BikBoiCoq August 26, 2025
Get the Shahi Naan Kebabmug. A synonym for stilletos. I've heard that term repeatedly from Julie Bowen on the Jimmy Kimmel show.
youtube.com/watch?v=lyEHS2KDcRM
youtube.com/watch?v=lyEHS2KDcRM
by Osmone Everony March 6, 2020
Get the Hooker Kebabmug. by Jimmy Blue69 July 30, 2023
Get the kebab walletmug. A person who is in watts with blond hair lives in St Albans and acts like a bellend all the time and is rude and cringey and annoying for no reason
by TheNobKebabKnower July 24, 2017
Get the nob kebabmug. A sexual act where you stroke your shi while fingering your butt, usually with 3 fingers. while stroking away from your body you put your fingers more in your butt, making a sort of pendulum motion. Moving your fingers into your butt hole and stroking simultaneously. experienced kebabers can create an extremely fast rhythm thus maximizing orgasmic effiency.
by Aj2sheistiful June 2, 2025
Get the Kebabmug. by KrispyCum August 18, 2025
Get the Shish Kebabmug. “My girlfriend and I were the only ones in the movie theater, so she gave me a Puerto Rican Shish Kebab. Best movie ever!”
by JahJah4prez August 23, 2024
Get the Puerto Rican Shish Kebabmug.