computer clap 

When your computer gets a virus from surfing porno sites and/or watching on-line pornography.

Attributed to Lane Leipold

"Hey Lane, you'd better stop watching that porno on your computer , or it will get the computer clap and you'll go blind!"
"I was checking out Jenna Jameson, and next thing I know my computer has the clap; thecomputer clap! "

computer clap by Salty 40 May 12, 2018

Computer science 

(n.) An insanely complex bunch of imaginate stuff to insanely create a model of the real stuffs with it in a complicated way.

Computer science is a bunch imaginative stuff, which at the same time does and does not exist, made out of numbers which create a place to put all the knowledge into it.

Computer science by SirDrFalkSigurdMildslaff October 20, 2019

computer sex

when you really wanna bang someone but ur only talking to them on the computer.

also when you wnt to give a guy a boner, all you have to do is have computer sex with him and you will get far...i promise

mary: hey sexy
lyle: omfg if i was there right now i would bang you
mary: lets have computer sex!
lyle: wow...u just gave me a boner
mary: oh yes lyle, oh YES!!!
lyle: HARDER...get it in there!!!

computer sex by ur pet fish February 19, 2009

computer geek 

someone who is knowledgeable in things related to computers, internet, softwre, hardware, etc. beyond the average person.

See also Dork.

Tom is so great with photoshop you'd think he's a computer geek or something.

computer geek by HomerCO March 5, 2004

computer nigger 

A information technology worker (or network administrator) who is not qualified or certified as a IT person but nevertheless performs these functions for an organization that does not have a budget for IT functions and tasks. The worker usually solves computer problems through trial and error and learns as he (or she) proceeds. Most of the problems solved should be figured out without this individual through online help menus.

Hey Bill, when I print this document the margins get cut-off. Why do the margins get cut-off?

Other employees: Bill is the computer nigger here.

computer nigger by John Alexander December 28, 2006

computer flu 

when you computer runs REALLY slow!

Jeph: Damn it why wont you work *computer types really slow*

Dan: your computer has computer flu

computer flu by corrupchoas12 June 26, 2009

Computer Claw 

When you work on a computer in a cold room and your mousing hand gets really cold.

"Ohhh don't touch me with that thing, it's cold"
"Sorry, I got computer claw"

Computer Claw by Gregly McClaw May 15, 2013