alternative fart

When you manage to successfully blame some other person for your flatulence.

I like going to crowded bars where it's easy to release alternative farts.

by Mike Honcho FS July 17, 2017

Alternating Caps

The ultimately way to disprove a common myth.

"You can't convey sarcasm through text."

Alternating Caps: "Hold my beer"

by Ubeenbamboozledson April 24, 2024

Alternate

Some black hole colored man that is 10'4 and likes to do ASMR is your ear.

We need to stay inside to not alert the Alternates.

by MaybeAnonymous May 6, 2022

Alternative energy utopia

The highest evolutionary form of the regressive. greern new deal

The green new deal. If not reversed, will inevitably lead to an alternative energy utopia

by Sexydimma July 15, 2022

chocolate-milk alternative

Refers to a "just as bad or worse" substitution-product/activity employed to supposedly "fill the void" created by a discontinued unhealthy habit --- the idea here is that while the milk itself may indeed be low-fat, the added calorie-rich and sugary-sweet chocolate has far more fattening ingredients than just the cream in full-fat milk could possibly have contained, and so the person will likely gain even more weight than ever.

Three classic --- and very tragic --- examples of a "chocolate-milk alternative" would be a substance-abuse recovery-program's giving a dry-drunk lots of high-sugar foods in place of alcohol, someone's switching to compulsive shopping in place of gambling, or a person's becoming harshly-snappy and irritably-demanding after giving up cigarettes.

by QuacksO November 5, 2018

alternize

To use a different (alternate) approach to solving a problem when the standard approach doesn't work, an approach that is less complicated than improvising.

There was no bell at the hotel front desk, so we alternized by saying "ding, ding" until the clerk came out of the back room.

by JBoftheWikipedia July 24, 2009

alternative anonymous meetings

Refers to the more light-hearted/trivial-affliction-related (i.e., non-substance-abuse or other serious-addiction-type condition) gatherings of sufferers where everyone shares life-stories and fellowship, and tries to assist each other in reducing/alleviating said unfortunate conditions/infirmities. Examples would include Belchers Anonymous (at all the other meetings listed here, they serve you tasty carbonated drinks, but at this meeting, you only get non-fizzy libation so that you won't start burping!), Bellyachers Anonymous, Colliders Anonymous (for folks who often clumsily blunder into objects/people), Foot-steppers Anonymous (again, this would be for those of you who don't adequately watch where you're walking, and so you accidentally tread on others' toes a lot), Groaners Anonymous (they seat you in chairs with heating-pads and offer you pain-relievers), Grumblers Anonymous, Stumblers Anonymous, Whiners Anonymous, Yawners Anonymous (at all the other meetings they let you sit on comfy upholstered chairs, but here they make you sit on hard wooden benches so that you don't get too relaxed and then start sleepily displaying your tonsils), etc.

One amusing fact about alternative anonymous meetings is that quite a number of any particular meeting's attendees may also suffer from a lot of the maladies and shortcomings addressed in other anonymous meetings, as well (i.e., achy people who copiously moan and groan also tend to complain a lot and mindlessly bumble into and/or step on the feet of unsuspecting souls unfortunate enough to happen to be in their paths), and so you tend to see a lot of familiar faces at many of the various meetings.

by QuacksO July 12, 2019