Crying Wank

The act of engaging in masturbation while crying over the loss of a partner. Usually engaged in during or after a breakup, or a rejection, or an affair of the heart which has gone wrong. The point of the crying wank is to 'wank' through the tears of sadness over said loved one.

This act is always accompanied with the sound of "Angels" or "She's The One" - Robbie Williams.

(While tears leak from the eyes) Brett - "I can't believe she left me" -sniff- "If there's somebody... calling me on... she's the one..." (The act of ejaculation follows this.) - A typical crying wank after being rejected by the girl of your dreams.

by Justiciar January 5, 2010

Fury Wank

A fury wank is when you furiously jerk-off to alleviate the symptoms of extreme blue balls quickly in the bathroom when you realize the girl you're with in the house won't blow you, done as quickly as possible to make her think its only a massive piss or a quick shit

"Shit man, the fury wank I had to do last night was mad!"

"Sorry babe, just gotta bust a fury.. I mean, take a piss!"

by Radioleg August 28, 2014

Eco Wank

Masterbation with the lights off.

Tim: I'm all about saving the planet, I even have Eco Wanks.
Mike: What the hell is that?!
Tim: Oh I just masterbate with the lights off.
Mike: Get away from me.

by magicalg March 14, 2010

Terror Wank

To wank under extreme horror or terror, usually under extreme, life or death circumstances as a last attempt at pleasure. Characterized by furious masturbation accompanied by screams and shouts.

Captain Bob: "Attention passengers, fasten all safety belts-we are heading for a crash landing."
Terrified passenger: "Time for a terror wank..." *Fap fap fap*

by Nickwalks October 26, 2011

Wank Warrior

A Professional wanker, one who claims to be a master or warrior of wanking,

"All Tom from myspace does all day is masturbate, he must be a Wank Warrior."

by ColbyA.K.A.C-Pimpin December 13, 2008

Fatty wank

Artwork or photographs of BBW or SSBBW that men will jerk off to. A phrase coined by an artist called Krampuskind.

John went down to the pr0n shop to buy some fatty wank.

by Lupine the 3rd January 24, 2012

Bradworthy Wank

The act of masturbating in your living room while trying to get caught by the Google Street View car.

As soon as I saw the car coming round the corner by the Bradworthy Inn, I ran home, flopped it out and start it furiously Bashing the Bishop, in the hopes that the image of me choking my chicken would live forever on Google Street View.

Best Bradworthy Wank I ever had.

by EducatedBumpkin March 26, 2022