masturbation

The act of cumming onto one's keyboard after watching a porn video clip.

"Oh damn now I have to clean my keyboard because of my masturbation."

by Maximus Cox January 9, 2008

Masterbation

The art of making your peepee bigger by stroking it

Mom I won compitition for my nice masterbation

by Bigger ligma December 4, 2019

masturbation, booze, and madonna

the 1990s version of "Sex, drugs, and rock n roll"

I was reading the book Reviving Ophelia and Gail, one of Mary Pipher's patients, said that the phrase "sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll" had been changed to "masturbation, booze, and Madonna". Wow.

by Karen Stickney November 11, 2008

stealth masterbating

When one wacks off as quietly as possible so as to not disturb the people in the same room.

Sam: I hope no one notices I am stealth masterbating
Girl friend: Sam ... are you wacking off!!!!
Sam: Oh Shit!

by themanwiththeplan9192 April 4, 2010

masturbation rolodex

referring to the memory of any past sexual experiences that are worthy of masturbating to at a future time.

or

discussing how a sexual experience was so exceptional that it will be remembered fondly of and kept in the memory bank.

That girl was incredible. I'm going to have to store that away in my masturbation rolodex.

by LeBron Shames June 28, 2010

Habitual Masturbation

When you masturbate habitually, you masturbate not because you want to, but because it is that time of the day.

"Hey, where's Andre?"
"It's 2:30. Habitual masturbation must've gotten the best of him."

by gbrodee April 7, 2015

acoustic masturbation

The act of sexually pleasing oneself without the use of an electric powered device such as a vibrator.

After visiting the adult toy store, Jill resolved to do less acoustic masturbation in the coming year.

by yes juanito yes April 11, 2016