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Alphabet

Any binary gender nonconforming individual.
-Joey came out as alphabet to their family.
-I’m alphabet as they come, motherfucker.
by @thejarlequin January 1, 2020
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alphabetical authorities

Da "top people" whom folks consult for advice/assistance on a variety of ordinary topics dat are randomly scattered about over da "ol' 26" in da English language.
Da seven most common types of alphabetical authorities are:
(1) hexpert --- someone who is super-familiar with voodoo and curses; hopefully he uses said vast witchcraft-knowledge to remove or alleviate said evil spells, not to put them on in da first place!
(2) mexpert --- an individual well-versed in all matters "south of da border".
(3) pexpert --- a plumber who is well-versed in da use of freeze-resistant plastic piping
(4) rexpert --- a learned bookworm on da subject of certain animals, either man's best friend or da huge hunched-over carnivores back in da Jurassic period.
(5) sexpert --- someone who can advise couples on achieving more satisfying intimacy.
(6) texpert --- a dude who knows all about da "black-tea"-rich southern-USA area dat is Ranger Walker's usual stompin' grounds.
(7) vexpert --- a human-nature guru with extensive experience on what pushes people's buttons; again --- as in da first example above --- presumably he uses said know-how to help **reduce** already-existing frustration/distress in others, not to purposely exhibit destructive behavior dat would cause people to **become** wound up when they had felt reasonably calm before! (Da infamous "gettin', getters, got"exchange between Madea and Dr. Phil comes to mind.)
by QuacksO February 7, 2020
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alphabetical alternatives

An A-Z list of "non-standard" objects or activities:
AWLternative: A different tool/method for line-scribing and hole-piercing.

BALLternative: Something other than a "bouncy sphere" for kids to play with.
BAWLternative: Doing something besides loud tearful carrying-on.
CALLternative: Any socializing-activity other than a teenage-girl's typical favorite.
CAWlternative: Yes, crows are indeed handsome and smart, but let's look at some other feathered friends, as well.
DOLLternative: A less gender-based toy for young girls.
EALternative: Teaching something other than English as a "second language".

FALLternative: Anything besides tumbling outta da Ugly Tree.
GALLternative: (1) An attitude other than temerity. (2) Less-destructive methods to avoid surface-abrasion damage.
HALLternative: Architecture not employing passageways.
IAlternative: A designation other than feminine.
JAWlternative: Anything besides flappin' yer gums, so dat others can have a little peace and quiet!
LAWlternative: When Steve Lehto speaks about a non-legal topic on YouTube.
MAlternative: Handing a problem yourself and instead of always just yelling for your mummy.
MAWlternative: Any activity dat avoids getting near da powerful chompers of a greedy/voracious animal.
NAWlternative: Any response other than just a flat "negatory".
OAlternative: A different treatment-approach to food-binging besides boring weekly meetings.
PALLternative: Cremation or other burial-procedure not involving a coffin.
More examples of alphabetical alternatives:
PAULternative: Anything not involving everyone's favorite giant lumberjack.
PAWlternative: (1) Anything dat doesn't involve an animal's furry foot. (2) Problem-solving on your own, without always yelling for yer Daddy.
QUAlternative: Any topic not referring to "in the capacity or character of".
RAWlternative: Zheesh, you back-to-nature hippie-freak --- have a little cooked food once in a while!
SAULternative: Seeking da judgement/wisdom of someone other than a tempestuous spear-thrower.
SAWlternative: Letting a tree remain standing.
TALLternative: Consulting a short-to-medium-height person.
UAlternative: Approaching a film-studio other than da MGM-owned giant.
VAULTernative: What da bad guys in da 1971 caper-film "Dollars" should have utilized for storing their ill-gotten loot.
WALLternative: What "Da Donald" should have sought much earlier than now for excluding illegal Mexican immigrants.
WALTERnative: What Achmed should seek for advice/fellowship, since said crabby ol' fart scares da crap outta him.
XAlternative" Pertaining to something other than finance or da stock market.
YAlternative: Anything other than a straight-positive response.
YAWlternative: Movement other than directional-rotation, such as pitch and roll.
YAWLternative: Any wind-driven boat other than da dainty "triangle-shaped sail array" design.
ZAlternative: Any culinary section other than da classic disk-shaped Italian flatbread.
by QuacksO March 17, 2020
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Alphabet

Oh damn baby look at you... listen You May hear this a lot. But I’ reckon I can sing my abcs to you . See I’ll give you this A because you’re awesome , this B because you’re beautiful, a C because you’re confident , And I’ll give you this D because you deserve it. The letters of the alphabet
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Alphabet

Once you get to know it, it will never leave you alone. EVER.
by Bictormemes June 29, 2020
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alphabettispagetti

a person who has no swag but is very intelligent and depressed
"Did you see alphabettispagetti argue with Kevin again she insists she's a man"
by alphabettispagetti July 8, 2020
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alphabetical opportunities

bopportunity: A chance to clonk someone's noggin.
copportunity: An occasion when you can dial 9-1-1.
fopportunity: An area or event where you can dress up excessively or outlandishly.
GOPportunity: A time when you can openly flaunt your Republican viewpoints.
hopportunity: A safe/acceptable location to do jumping-jacks and leapfrogging.
lopportunity: When you notice that your ornamentals are getting too bushy and/or scraggly.
mopportunity: A chance to try out your new Swiffer.
popportunity: When you come across a discarded sheet of bubble-wrap.
sopportunity: An occasion where you can either easily/inexpensively appease someone, or absorb a liquid with a sponge.
topportunity: A chance to "do somebody one better" in a contest or impromptu session of friendly verbal sparring.
wopportunity: A time when you can make derogatory remarks about Italians.
Alphabetical opportunities may be fun to think about, but most of them seem largely pointless to perform in real life.
by QuacksO July 13, 2020
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