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chocolate-milk alternative

Refers to a "just as bad or worse" substitution-product/activity employed to supposedly "fill the void" created by a discontinued unhealthy habit --- the idea here is that while the milk itself may indeed be low-fat, the added calorie-rich and sugary-sweet chocolate has far more fattening ingredients than just the cream in full-fat milk could possibly have contained, and so the person will likely gain even more weight than ever.
Three classic --- and very tragic --- examples of a "chocolate-milk alternative" would be a substance-abuse recovery-program's giving a dry-drunk lots of high-sugar foods in place of alcohol, someone's switching to compulsive shopping in place of gambling, or a person's becoming harshly-snappy and irritably-demanding after giving up cigarettes.
by QuacksO November 5, 2018
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alternative fart

When you manage to successfully blame some other person for your flatulence.
I like going to crowded bars where it's easy to release alternative farts.
by Mike Honcho FS July 17, 2017
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alternative white man

Someone of darker complexion raised in an administrative military atmosphere.
"What is your nationality?" " I am an Alternative White Man."
by 5tranger09 August 24, 2017
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"alternatives"-ad fury

The near-maniacal rage you feel when an online vendor/advertiser off-handedly remarks that a desired product/content is no longer offered/available, and then adds insult to injury by cheerfully cajoling, "But no worries --- check out some of our other awesome products/services, like these!", causing you to just wanna smash yer fist right through the screen in resentful frustration, since whatever "substitute" profferings they are showing you have virtually no resemblance whatever to what you were looking for and would certainly not be anywhere near as satisfying; it's almost like they're presuming to imply that THEY know more about what YOU want than YOU do YOURSELF!
Counsellor, sympathetically consoling a late-teens client who is practically climbing the walls in tearful frustration from having been cheekily offered "Super Mario" by an online-gaming website when he'd wanted to play a round of "Spy Hunter Classic" after a long day at high school, just as he'd been doing every evening for the past two years: Ah-haa --- sounds to me like a classic case of "alternatives"-ad fury --- I so totally "get ya", Young Man, and I don't blame ya one bit for feeling this way... a lot of companies sure don't consider what their customers truly want whenever they"update" their offerings, do they? Reminds me of a couple of local radio stations back when I was around your age --- all of a sudden they stopped playing their traditional soothing '60's 'n' '70's easy-listening music in favor of pop-bop and country-crap --- a LOT of adult-listeners were REALLY bummed out about that! Why, I myself STILL sorely miss that wonderful music almost thirty years later!
by QuacksO July 13, 2018
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Functionally Alternative

A person or persons whom are unable to operate a hammer or tools in general but are extremely capable with knowledge.
Suzan is functionally alternative, she might hurt herself with a soup spoon but she'll hurt you with her knowledge of appropriate Shakespeare insults.
by GridSquid September 2, 2022
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Alternate

Some black hole colored man that is 10'4 and likes to do ASMR is your ear.
We need to stay inside to not alert the Alternates.
by MaybeAnonymous May 6, 2022
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Queen of Alternative

Queen of Alternative is Billie Eilish, she've broken many records lana del rey can only wish to make. Her debut album WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP WHERE DO WE GO ? is a pure alternative perfection, her sophomore album HAPPIER THAN EVER outsold and outstreamed lana's albums with ease and is also critically acclaimed. No other Alternative artists like Melanie, Lorde, and Lana herself had an impact like Billie Eilish and her achievements. She also brought Alternative to mainstream and therefore she's considered as the Queen Of Alternative.
Did you know that the queen of alternative aka Billie Eilish have a total amount of 7 grammys, 1 oscar, 1 golden globe and an Emmy Nominations unlike certain alternative artists.
by cosmicdinca May 10, 2022
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