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Screaming Jesus

A FICTIONAL sexual "maneuver" that you would apply to a person you don't particularly like (or in some cases- hate), but still want to have sexual intercourse because they are extremely hot.

It is a maneuver specifically made up for fantasy purposes only- as the other person would die. It involves you nailing the A-hole/ Bitch to a cross, and then nailing him/ her (with consent).
Paul: "Damn, Bob's sister is a total Bitch. Did you hear what she said?"
Tom: "I know, what a total Bitch. She's really hot though."
Paul: "I know- I'd like to give that bitch the screaming Jesus."
Tom: "Me too, man."
by JemIsJerrica September 25, 2009
mugGet the Screaming Jesusmug.

Jesus

Jesus has the power of 100,000,000,000,0000,000,000,000,000 gods.
by Quandale_dingle the 3rd June 1, 2022
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

“…But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.”
(Jesus Christ, Matthew 5:39–41, ESV).
by xander.with.an.x April 23, 2023
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

A religious figure, who falsly claims to be god, instead of Danny De Vito
It appears, that while jesus was making miracles, he was super high on crack. The church is removing every record of him, and replacing it with Danny De Vito
by Sab-E.R November 19, 2018
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus Card

When someone justifies their frowned-upon, or even illegal, actions by comparing themself to Jesus disobeying the Roman Empire by spread his beliefs. The general idea is that if Jesus was doing the right thing by broke the law in order to spread the word of god, then it is already for them to break the law in order to <insert action here>.
"Sure, its illegal, but did that stop Jesus when the Romans said his mission was illegal???"
*off to the side*
"Holy shit, he pulled the fuckin' Jesus Card!!"
by Xavien35449510 February 2, 2024
mugGet the Jesus Cardmug.

Jesus

Slang
hay-SUS/JeSUS
1. Fruity, Gay
Used against people named jesus or jesús
Jesus: Hey lets snuggle bro
Jim: Mannn your acting hella jeSUS
by SunRoseGiggles March 9, 2022
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

A guy who will act like they love you but break your heart.
"Jesus cheated on me again*
by mayay February 4, 2024
mugGet the Jesusmug.

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