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Jesus

Jesus is Lord. He loves you so much that he died for your sins, a painful, brutal death. He didn’t want to, but he didn’t want you to have to suffer what he did. He chose YOU. He chose LOVE.

He rose again and lives in our hearts. Now you don’t have to bear the pain that he did. He knew that you would curse him,mock him and sin against him. Regardless, that didn’t stop him from giving you a chance at heaven, a chance at a better life where no suffering or tears exist. I can promise you the love you’ve felt on this earth is nothing compared to his.

Tomorrow is not promised so use it wisely. May God guide you and bless you, Amen.💗
by Jesuschristisking December 21, 2024
mugGet the Jesusmug.

mother jesus

One beta that does stuff. Second in command right after Cyber. She does stuff, I guess.
Omg it’s Mother Jesus!
Kool!!!
by Peeha Auntie November 25, 2019
mugGet the mother jesusmug.

Jesus Squee

Any over-enthusiastic literature or preaching by any Christian faction.
Watchtower is both Jesus Squee and Fundie Fanfic.

"Take yer Jesus Squee and ram it, darned Witnesses"
by Kahless the Unforgettable October 16, 2008
mugGet the Jesus Squeemug.

Jesus

M0istcritkal
He is Jesus
by Euwua July 26, 2022
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus Card

When someone justifies their frowned-upon, or even illegal, actions by comparing themself to Jesus disobeying the Roman Empire by spread his beliefs. The general idea is that if Jesus was doing the right thing by broke the law in order to spread the word of god, then it is already for them to break the law in order to <insert action here>.
"Sure, its illegal, but did that stop Jesus when the Romans said his mission was illegal???"
*off to the side*
"Holy shit, he pulled the fuckin' Jesus Card!!"
by Xavien35449510 February 2, 2024
mugGet the Jesus Cardmug.

Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!

When a person, usually in response to pain, emotional or physical, begins a crazed angry yelling to vent their frustration, often going down the list of the curse words they know.
I stubbed my toe
"Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!" I yelled
by Leonidas of Alexandria March 5, 2024
mugGet the Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!mug.

Mother of Jesus Christ

Something you yell out when your team is losing or you have to pay a expensive bill.
John- Mother of Jesus Christ i can't believe the Patriots are losing to the Raiders

Me- I guess the patriots just suck
by Crzyfkr October 9, 2010
mugGet the Mother of Jesus Christmug.

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