Two faced

When someone acts friendly to your face but the moment u turn your back they talk shit about u

Tiffany: I cant believe Nathans girlfriend would go with him his so ugly. (Sees Nathan on the other aile) Oh hey Nathan how are u doing buddy.
Me and my friend: shes so two faced

by I hate Walmart August 22, 2018

Fill two needs with one deed

To achieve two simultaneous goals with a single action.

A less violent alternative to the phrase 'to kill two birds with one stone'.

I needed to post a letter and buy some bread, so I though I'd fill two needs with one deed and stop at the mailbox on the way to the store.

by Ausgirl123 January 27, 2019

life is two dates and a dash

When you go on a date with a women and on the second date you get her pregnant so you make a run for it.

On my second date I got my girl pregnant so I moved to Canada.

life is two dates and a dash

by Dem guy January 29, 2019

Jonny Two Texts

Noun.

1. A person who perpetually responds to all mobile conversations with very long-drawn out messages that could easily be expressed succintly with a few words.

2. A guy who always writes hilariously long messages to everyone, including people he met the night before whilst inebriated.

3. An infamous Scandinavian Mafia ringleader who purposely sent two texts to Johnny Cochran and seriously got busted.

Fockin' Jonny Two Texts, his texts are amazing but i never read them becuase i dont have enough time read all that shit.

by Nojbackwards September 13, 2018

two-hundred and sixty-three

one more than two-hundred and sixty-two.

Two-hundred and sixty-three is one less than two-hundred and sixty-four.

by DespacitoLigmaDab September 16, 2018

Timmy Two Jacket

When a girl is so filthy you have to put on two condoms.

I heard Nick banged Abby last night.

Yeah she was so filthy he gave her the Timmy two jacket treatment.

by Dtwnpwrbttm September 30, 2018

I may be two-tenths of a split-second late

A playfully-overprecise remark that you tell someone to let him know that you may be briefly delayed in meeting up with him, and so he should simply wait for you if you don't arrive at precisely the moment when you said you would.

Cool dude, texting to his buddy on his smart-phone as he's hurriedly scuttling along the downtown sidewalk: "I've had a last-minute errand that I gotta run real quick, so I may be two-tenths of a split-second late --- no worries, though, Bro --- I'll still shoot some hoops wif youse, just as I promised."

by QuacksO October 2, 2018