The son of God according to the Christian Faith. He is charitable, kind and loves everyone, even minorities, despite what "Christians" may say. It has been claimed that he died and resurrected, though this has been unproven. Notably, on May 31st 2025, he was reborn as a Furry Femboy identical in appearance to the fictional character Reggie The Rat made by Whygena.
Person 1: THE HELL DO YOU MEAN JESUS GOT REBORN AS A FURRY FEMBOY WHAT THE FUCK
Person 2: I can't tell if this is blasphemy or not due to it being true.
Person 3: this is the funniest shit ever oh my god
Person 2: I can't tell if this is blasphemy or not due to it being true.
Person 3: this is the funniest shit ever oh my god
by Silly Billy, unintelligent June 2, 2025
Get the Jesusmug. "Jesus cheated on me again*
by mayay February 4, 2024
Get the Jesusmug. Jesus posting or just Jesusposting is a subsection of "shit posting" where you use religious quotes in a satirical manner
by HenryS June 28, 2023
Get the Jesus postingmug. nickname or the act of driving so recklessly that only the Lord Jesus Christ himself can prevent permanent damage and/or death.
bob: « you heard that noise ? »
sue: « no, what was it ? »
bob: « driving jesus got in another accident on the avenue »
sue: « no, what was it ? »
bob: « driving jesus got in another accident on the avenue »
by gof August 20, 2024
Get the driving jesusmug. Midwest slang for orange juice containing the drug propylhexedrine aka Benzedrex. The drug can be bought over the counter in the form of a nasal inhaler normally used for allergies. If you break the inhaler and take out the cotton inside and soak it in orange juice or any acidic beverage for 24 hours the active ingredient (propyl) is extracted. Propyl has similar effects to amphetamine and methamphetamine and induces a state of intense focus and euphoria. It is also horrible for your vascular system and causes severe vasoconstriction.
In simple terms you will go sicko mode and probably will end up on meth if you weren’t already when you took the Jesus Juice. It’s called Jesus Juice because it makes you feel like Jesus and it will bring you back from the dead.
In simple terms you will go sicko mode and probably will end up on meth if you weren’t already when you took the Jesus Juice. It’s called Jesus Juice because it makes you feel like Jesus and it will bring you back from the dead.
Me: Hey bro do you want some speed laced orange juice?
Homie: Oh, shit did you put your Vyvanse into OJ?
Me: Nah I ran out like a week ago, this is Jesus Juice! It feels just as good if not better. You can feel your brain cells dying so it must be good.
Homie: Oh, shit did you put your Vyvanse into OJ?
Me: Nah I ran out like a week ago, this is Jesus Juice! It feels just as good if not better. You can feel your brain cells dying so it must be good.
by danasp_42 December 27, 2019
Get the Jesus Juicemug. by Juliacoolia July 3, 2022
Get the armani de jesusmug. Yes, it's multiple parts this one...
*The wilderness*
Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"
Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."
Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"
Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
*The wilderness*
Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"
Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."
Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"
Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
Lucifer "JESUS CHRIST!"
Jesus "Yep."
Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"
Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."
Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"
Jesus "Oh I know."
Father 😨
Jesus 🤨
Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."
Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"
Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"
Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"
Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"
Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."
Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."
Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."
Father 😨
Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐
Father 😨
Jesus "Yep."
Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"
Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."
Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"
Jesus "Oh I know."
Father 😨
Jesus 🤨
Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."
Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"
Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"
Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"
Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"
Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."
Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."
Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."
Father 😨
Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐
Father 😨
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
Get the Jesus Christmug.