Jesus

A fictional character who is the figure head of the Christian faith. One of 4,200 religions here on planet earth. There is absolutely no historical evidence at all that he ever existed. None. Jesus didn't die on a cross as it is physically impossible to nail a human to a crucifix and that human defeat gravity. Jesus was not born without his father impregnating his mother, that is completely impossible and goes against anything science and medicine tells the human race today. Jesus and his cultists do not believe in science or medicine. Logic and common sense are also viewed as an attack on "faith" which allows his followers, especially here in the States of America, to cry and bitch about ANYONE who disagrees with their infantile bullshit. Jesus was invented so that Christians could control other humans, especially women. This is also a common thread in almost all religions which not only degrade women, it allows wars to be fought in his name killing millions of non combatants and blaming other religions for being somehow wrong. Catholics use Jesus to rape and sexually assault under age boys by the tens of thousands while their supposed conduit to "heaven" turns a blind eye to the cancer. They would rather murder women for getting an abortion than stop all of the pedophiles infesting their church. Jesus is also a grift for churches here in the States of America.

Soldier 1: Oh man, that was a close one! That almost hit me!

Soldier 2: Jesus fucking christ that was close!

Some zealot: Do you have Jesus in your heart?

Poor bastard: No it's blood. Who the fuck is Jesus?!

Joel Osteen: Jesus has a plan for you!
My asshole: Joel, go fuck yourself you goddamn Jesus grifter!!

by Asymmetric shits for trump September 28, 2022

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Jesus

Son of God, loves endlessly, died for our sins. always forgiving.
john 3:16

“i’m sorry for being such a jerk.”
“it’s ok, i forgive you and Jesus does too.”

by lovedbytheSonofGod October 1, 2022

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Jesus Fucking Christ Hole

A verbal expression of overwhelming fear when a person is startled, surprised, shocked, or scared followed by extreme anger.

While Jimmy is driving on the expressway, he is suddenly cut off by another vehicle traveling ten miles per hour under the speed limit. Jimmy: "Jesus Fucking Christ Hole! You cut me off! get the fuck out of the way!"

by poop master general October 14, 2022

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