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Ugly Christmas Sweater

A hideous article of clothing, received from relatives who don't like you. It's origins are ancient and were initiated to punish kids who wouldn't eat their spinach. The relative always had a horrifying affliction Ie: (mustached aunt) .

In recent years, the grown victims, have turned the tables, with the ugly sweater contest. the once feared object that was used to force you into submission, is now coveted party gear, that wins $ and prizes.

The word "sweater" is used loosely, as vests, turtlenecks, and various accessories are equally acceptable.

Warnings: 1. Safety first! When dressing for an ugly sweater contest, please remember to cover the thing from view, while in public. A truly hideous sweater, gets noticed, and could cause an accident. 2. Beware of bait and switch tactics. Bosses will sometimes lure innocent employees into attending dreadful office parties, by using using a sweater contest as bait. When the victim arrives, they find the so called "contest" is a ruse, and the "fabulous prizes" consist of A: unpaid overtime, labeled as "lunch with the boss" B: a desk calendar, with the dates filled in, C: a grotesque statue, made from two paperclips, an orange rubber band, and something that looks suspiciously like belly button lint. D: a stale fruitcake.

To avoid this, demand a flyer beforehand. The prizes should be listed, and the flyer MUST contain the managers signature at the bottom, or they will try to weasel out of it.
Kid:
"Oh crap! Here comes Aunt Mildred! Please help me! She has an Ugly Christmas Sweater for me, I just know it! I promise I'll be good...don't make me wear it..."

Parent:
"Watch your mouth! I'm sure it is a perfectly lovely sweater, and you will put it on immediately, so we can take our annual family photo for the newsletter. Now answer the door, and give Aunt Mildred a big hug and kiss".
by Vixen333 December 16, 2011
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sweatervest

An article of clothing often worn by 'rediculously' good looking teachers that make them somehow even better looking.
Mr. V looks so awesome in that sweatervest. He should wear them everyday.
by The students November 5, 2008
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sweat out toxins

To run/jog or engage in cardiovascular activity, most often after a night of drinking, in order to rid the body of the toxins associated with said heavy drinking.
- "Hey, man, wanna go get some brunch?"

- "Naw, bro, I gotta go sweat out toxins, or "s.o.t". I won't be done jogging until 2:00."
by Jeff Howard June 28, 2007
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Sweater Cows

guy 1: check out juggy mcbigjugs over there eh!
guy 2: yep, dems some sweater cows up in here boy, yessiree mother fucka
by juggy mcnippleton April 10, 2011
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ball sweat

The nasty sour funk that eminates from your sack
She wouldn't go near me due to the overwhelming smell of ball sweat
by p.nis February 7, 2003
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taint sweat

The moisture that forms on your taint. It is a combination of asscrack sweat and genetailia/pube sweat. It is by far the worst smelling sent your body can produce.
Matt threatened to smear his taint sweat in Zach's face. What Matt didnt realize is that this secretly turned Zach on.
by zach April 21, 2006
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sweat tampon

the sweat tampon is created when a person comes back from physically intense exercise and is drenched in sweat they then over power a weaker person (in most cases a younger sibling) and transfer the sweat from their torso+head onto the clothes of the sibling, ergo the sweat tampon
last night i came home from and run and totally made ronan (younger sibling) my sweat tampon.
by .:keno:. April 1, 2009
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