Missouri mattress

When you (Jack-off) on your brown recluse bite and then rub shit in it.

Supervisor : Bobby was late for work again.

Boss: yeah he needs to deal with that Missouri mattress or he's not gonna make the quotas.

by PhantomEagle November 24, 2023

Missouri Muskrat

When during sex, the male slides his scrotum into his partner's anus and once the rectal muscles close the male will try to pop his genitals out. Like a muskrat pushing its head through a hole in the ground.

Eddie wanted to attempt a "Missouri Muskrat" with his girlfriend Janice.

by MrKumquats June 20, 2016

Missouri windchime

Like alabama windchimes, except you use mormons.

Mark-Hey Dave, i like your Missouri windchimes over there
Dave-Thanks Mark, I made them last week

by Kill the mormons June 14, 2018

Missouri Mineshaft

When the male fingers the female with very sharp fingernails, so bits and pieces of the inner vagina comes out. The male then eats these pieces while screaming about gold.

Person 1: hey hows the wife
Person 2: not good. I tried the Missouri Mineshaft last night
Person 1: im calling the police

by bigmike227 December 9, 2018

Missouri Twister

No, its not anything sexual, the missouri twister was a famous un-named twister that knocked over Grandma Edna's favourite tree back in 1978, or we could just be talking about Joplin.

Thats one hell of a missouri twister!

by MartianSupremacist October 10, 2023

Missouri Cocksucker

A Missouri Cocksucker is a hooker from Missouri. Often founds in the streets of St. Louis

Let's go pick up some Missouri Cocksuckers, bro.

by missouricocksucker April 4, 2025

Missouri Western University

A sad D2 college that does very little of anything. There isn’t much alcohol, nor many girls. Just depressed and high students.

Damn you went to Missouri Western University this weekend? Why’d you do that to yourself?

by Boof lord September 20, 2019