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andrea del mar de jesus romero

a puerto rican girl who’s often quiet but secretly super cool. everyone wants to be her friend but u need to get into her bubble first. she’s a bit of a tiny person so be careful not to lose her at parties. if you do accidentally lose her, set out a bowl of rice and beans and she will show up. she’s a cutie with a magnetic vibe. keep her close.
oh damn is that “ andrea del mar de jesus romero” pls take a pic of me next to her, i want people to think i’m cool
by mamaguebomarko May 31, 2023
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Baby Jesus in a manger

The act of resting a little nugget of hash on top of a bed of weed in your pipe or bong
Yo man, hit this bowl, I put a baby Jesus in a manger, you'll get high AF
by Vice420 November 21, 2022
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Southern Jesus tug

When someone (usually from a southern state) is to poor to afford an abortion, so they take a cross and brutally beat the woman’s stomach in the name of the lord until nothing but gork comes out.
Me and sally couldn’t get our baby aborted by professionals, so we had billy do a southern Jesus tug.
by I have a PhD in words January 2, 2018
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Jesus Eyes

A person in the 7th grade that likes to stare at burritos like they are jusus
Me: Oh my gosh Ellie Carter is totally Jesuseyeing that burrito

Ellie: Totally!!
Me: We should nickname him jesus eyes!
by Jesuseye's best friend February 4, 2017
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Jesus Squee

Any over-enthusiastic literature or preaching by any Christian faction.
Watchtower is both Jesus Squee and Fundie Fanfic.

"Take yer Jesus Squee and ram it, darned Witnesses"
by Kahless the Unforgettable October 16, 2008
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Jesus Christ

Yes, it's multiple parts this one...

*The wilderness*

Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"

Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."

Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"

Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
Lucifer "JESUS CHRIST!"

Jesus "Yep."

Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"

Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."

Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"

Jesus "Oh I know."

Father 😨

Jesus 🤨

Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."

Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"

Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"

Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"

Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"

Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."

Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."

Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."

Father 😨

Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐

Father 😨
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
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