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Jesus Canastuj

The realest mf. HE OWNS THE STREETS YA HEARD. PREACH FOR THIS GUY CUZ HE A PIMP AMEN.
Jesus Canastuj be balling wit money
by Chuyy101 November 23, 2021
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Jesus Card

When someone justifies their frowned-upon, or even illegal, actions by comparing themself to Jesus disobeying the Roman Empire by spread his beliefs. The general idea is that if Jesus was doing the right thing by broke the law in order to spread the word of god, then it is already for them to break the law in order to <insert action here>.
"Sure, its illegal, but did that stop Jesus when the Romans said his mission was illegal???"
*off to the side*
"Holy shit, he pulled the fuckin' Jesus Card!!"
by Xavien35449510 February 2, 2024
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Jesus Stepper

Father Maurice from Sister Act was the OG Jesus Stepper
by 313.Lynn January 28, 2024
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Jesus Squee

Any over-enthusiastic literature or preaching by any Christian faction.
Watchtower is both Jesus Squee and Fundie Fanfic.

"Take yer Jesus Squee and ram it, darned Witnesses"
by Kahless the Unforgettable October 16, 2008
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Jesus

A religious figure, who falsly claims to be god, instead of Danny De Vito
It appears, that while jesus was making miracles, he was super high on crack. The church is removing every record of him, and replacing it with Danny De Vito
by Sab-E.R November 19, 2018
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marijuana jesus

marijuana jesus is a person who smokes the holy plant cannabis, walks on water, and is made up.
marijuana jesus: that was some nice bud judas
judas: im gonna go betray you and smoke all your weed
by marijuana jesus December 9, 2016
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Jesus Eyes

A person in the 7th grade that likes to stare at burritos like they are jusus
Me: Oh my gosh Ellie Carter is totally Jesuseyeing that burrito

Ellie: Totally!!
Me: We should nickname him jesus eyes!
by Jesuseye's best friend February 4, 2017
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