old bert

Evil incarnate. If you run into an Old Bert it is best to try and escape before it notices you are there. If escape is not possible then trying to make a deal to spare your life is the best option. Old Bert's feed on the human soul and if hungry will stop at nothing to get it's next meal. If already fed then it's personality will revert to a calm state, although if angered it would be lucky if the body was found in a piece larger then a finger nail. It is best to avoid Old Bert's at all cost but the reward for capturing one alive is enough to get you your own private island with money to spare. Approach Old Bert's at own risk with full knowledge that it will most likely eat you and your soul.

You hear about the city that was destroyed, apparently an Old Bert caused it.

by Old_Bert July 8, 2017

bit of old rice

A beautiful shagadelic person.

"You're a bit of old rice Kathy"

by Seth Pittinaro November 11, 2017

Day old Jimmy John's bread

What your genitals smell like after not taking a shower for 3 days

My dick smells like that day old Jimmy John's bread

by __Mudkip November 18, 2017

sack of old ham

Used to describe an assblast or a fuckface

That guy is seriously a sack of old ham

by Mr. yee November 30, 2017

The old Taylor

Couldn’t come to phone, because she’s dead

I’m sorry, the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Cause she’s dead.

by SmilerCyrus December 4, 2017

handling the old lady

Another term for “fingering the ol’ foxhole”; female masturbation.

Martha found herself late for the bus because she was handling the old lady.

by Hswan33 May 6, 2018

old hell shaft

An old wrinkly wang

I gave lauren my old hell shaft

by Dick head wannabe May 8, 2018