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Kung Fu Jesus

Kung Fu Jesus- Christmas from someone that doesn't celebrate. Modern form of xmas which was used by Jewish people that would not verbally proclaim Jesus as the Christ.
Happy Kung Fu Jesus to all my Christian friends.
by MillionDollarLester December 25, 2018
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Jesus built

When someone is naturally strong/lean and never goes to the gym or has an open refusal to going to the gym.
“How’s he that strong he never goes to the gym?”
I guess he’s just jesus built”
by Big Yang Wang December 2, 2022
mugGet the Jesus builtmug.

JESUS CHRIST

MY HUSBAND JACOB RENE REYNA IN LUBBOCK TEXAS ACTUAL HELL ON EARTH...
JACOB RENE REYNA AKA JESUS CHRIST USES HIS PHONE TO CONTROL THE PEOPLE IN ACTUAL HELL CITY... WHILE THEY THINK THEY HAVE ME FUCK IN THE SHADOWS...
by Jacob and Matthew Reyna July 24, 2023
mugGet the JESUS CHRISTmug.

jesus chrust

1. A misspelling of Jesus Christ
2. A man who died for your crust
"You going to church today?" "Nah, I'm going to chirch." "What's that?" "It's where you can go and worship our lord and savior Jesus Chrust." "Go fuck yourself."
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Jesus

A guy the church has made look like a superhero to sell people their agenda. What if Jesus was a short fat guy who had dark, curly, bushy hair and olive skin? A guy that looked more like what people think Friar tuck would look like than what Robin hood would look like, except a little bit more Mediterranean on the surface.
There are fair skinned European looking Jews now, after thousands of years of living in Europe, but back in the time of Jesus, a Jew from a part of Asia bordering the Mediterranean was unlikely to look like what the Church described him as, if he was ever a real person and not a myth.
by Solid Mantis March 5, 2021
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Making Jesus cry

To masturbate
Comes from Christian parents telling their kids “Every time you masturbate, Jesus cries”
Jesus is interchangeable with Hod in this context
An example of “making Jesus cry”
Friend 1:Did you get laid last night?
Friend 2: No, I was so horny I had to make Jesus cry
Friend 1: Gross, tmi
by Comic Sanders May 31, 2019
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Raptor Jesus

Dinobot from the 1996 cartoon Beast Wars, known for giving his life to save early human ancestors in eighth episode of the second season; “Code of Hero.”
"Tell Raptor Jesus’ tale to those who ask. Tell it truly, the ill deeds along with the good, and let him be judged accordingly. The rest is silence."
by thegoddamnsiege January 2, 2021
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