Turtle Spear

A thin hollow tube of plastic for drinking liquids, also know as a straw. Occasionally found in the stomachs of animals and in the noses of turtles.

Starbucks Barista: How can I help you?
Jeremy: Can I get a Grande Iced Caramel Macchiato, minus the turtle spear?
Starbucks Barista: ...Excuse me?
Jeremy: A Turtle Spear.. you know, the thing used to drink your overpriced coffee and kill turtles?
Starbucks Barista: Ooh a straw! Sure thing.
Jeremy: Thank you! Just trying to save the world.

by @ComedicWizard April 7, 2019

Respect the turtle

Masturbate. Ask Craig Ferguson.

I was just in the bathroom trying to respect the turtle!

by Briana83 May 24, 2014

Turtle Tugging

When you have your Turtle Beach headset on and your jerking off to porn off your console.

ME: "Hey, what up B!! What you up to?" B: "Just Turtle Tugging one out......MOM! GET OUT OF HERE!, Can't you see that I have my headset on??!!"

by Cant Hold MD February 26, 2011

Stuffed Turtle

When a man allows his penis to invert inside his body and a woman uses a strap on dildo (or a man uses his erect penis) to penetrate the whole created by the inverted penis.

I'm so cold honey, quick give me the stuffed turtle before its too late!

by roboatse January 16, 2011

Turtle Snorkel

A blowjob performed underwater.

The weather in Maui sucked, but I got a turtle snorkel in Napili Bay, so the trip was worth it.

by CountRugen May 2, 2009

Turtle Tits

Muscular man boobs. Shaped like the subtle roundess of that of a turtle.

Hey that dude is super lean and muscular, but now he has turtle tits!

by caustic88 March 17, 2011

Turtle Porn

When something is disappointingly boring. Most commonly used when an act such as music, movies, etc is transformed from being one of the most entertaining into an act beyond boring.

Jennifer "do you think I should buy the second album of this band?"

Sandra " Well their first album was amazing it was up beat and revolutionary . However the second one well it sounded like turtle porn to me"

by Dyarra November 7, 2012