Taintstache

1. Having a moustache that resembles a taint.

2. Having a taint that resembles a moustache.

1.

Dude 1: Why do you have a taint on your face?
Dude 2: Shut up.

2.
Carl: Hey man, what's up?
Steve: Let me see that taint I've heard so much about!
Carl: I don't know...
Steve: I'm gonna see that taint one way or another, so you better just pull down your pants before i make you. Understand?

Carl apprehensively pulls down his pants infront of Steve.

Steve (smiling): Ooooh yeah... now thats a good taint.

Steve leans in for a closer look.

Steve: Hey, that kinda looks like a taintstache.

by yourecievethehole7 August 6, 2009

Taint Goalie

A person who defends their taint.

She wanted to get kinky, but he was playing taint goalie.

by avbaisley September 3, 2009

Tainted Willy

The act of poking a poo covered finger into the facial orifice of another person causing immediate smell shock.

My ear smells horrible and I am in a state of shock because Billy gave me a tainted willy last night.

by candy ass124 January 19, 2010

Taint My Hood

When a dude rubs his taint on a ladies hood.

Mark, whilst rubbing his taint all over Mary's hood, made her cry out repeatedly, "taint my hood."

by thedirtymaker November 16, 2011

taint dial

when shitting in a public restroom, one may be afraid to rest your phone on a strange surface. the only other option is to rest it in your underwear as a safety net. depending on how the long the wipe takes, one may forget to remove the phone. once the pants are pulled up and snug, you may dial the phone with your taint

Damien: "i was on the toilet so long the other night, i forgot i rested a mean game of angry birds on my drawers. wouldn't you know when all was said and done, i taint dialed my mom. plus, the phone smelled like burnt tacos for a week."

butt dial
pocket dial

by luvitwenucallmebigpasta July 17, 2012

taint wad

The rolled up kleenex that a man will stuff between your butt checks to soak up the sweat during the heat of the summer.

It was a hot humid steaming day and John was concerned that his taint wad was slipping from his crack!!

by SugarCube May 23, 2013

tainted berserker

A relative of the dingleberry, the tainted berserker is a fierce fleck of fecal matter that has invaded upon the grundle region (tainted) as a result of a particularly violent, berserker-style bowel movement.

Strauss invoked the power of Odin upon the porcelain throne of Assgard, thus requiring copious amounts of toilet paper to ensure that no tainted berserkers were creeping up on his family jewels.

by Caible October 10, 2013