Paliza (Polizei): The First Martial Law Juveniles Release.

What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to perianal abscesses.

Person 341: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 343: Paliza (Polizei): The First Martial Law Juveniles Release.

by Theusurpedmammarygland February 05, 2025

Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance

"You can stroll a store's aisles till Doomsday and never spot da item you want, but then, just as soon as you interrupt a staffperson to ask for help in locating said desirable, THAT'S when you will notice your sought-after item right off!"

While stocking up on food at a Super Walmart, I was looking for larger packages of Armour Vienna sausage so that I could save a few cents per can, but although I had thoroughly searched the surrounding areas on the shelves, I still hadn't found anything bigger than the small six-packs, so I finally asked a nearby employee if there were any of the larger packages in stock, possibly in the back room. Well, just as we were both walking back to the area of the aisle where I'd been looking, THAT'S when I finally spied the 12-packs that were sitting on the very top shelf! Guess that was a classic case of Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance... ah, well, again, the 12-packs were indeed sitting very high up, so at least that was a plausible excuse for my not having seen them before, especially since the store usually doesn't even expect its customers to notice stuff that's placed 'way up there, anyway; that "lofty" location is merely where they store extra merchandise for replenishing the lower-down shelves when the stock there starts to run low.

by QuacksO May 15, 2019

half-aunt-in-law

1. The wife of one's parent's half-brother.
2. The half-sister of one's parent-in-law.

My half-aunt-in-law is a good person.

by Elivaldeq November 24, 2019

half-aunt-in-law

1- Half-pibling's wife.
2- Spouse's half-aunt.

My half-aunt-in-law is a good person.

by Wonbig October 13, 2021

half-aunt-in-law

1- Half-pibling's wife.
2- Spouse's half-aunt.

half-aunt-in-law.

by Simaduria July 27, 2024

Tammie's Law

1. Everthing that can go wrong, will go wrong
2. All Warranties will expire upon payment of invoice
4. Friends come and Go, but enemies accumulate
12. If you try and please everybody noone will like it
14. You will always find something in the last place you look
15. The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet
20. Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought
21. If you fool around with a thing for very long, you will screw it up
22. A $300.00 picture tube will protect a 10c fuse by blowing first
24. Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact centre
25. The repairman would have never seen a model quite like yours before
26. When a broken appliance is demonstrated fot the repairman, it will work perfectly
30. Everybody has a scheme for getting rich that will not work
35. You will remember that you forgot to take out the garbage when the garbage truck is 2 doors away
37. Theres never a time to do it right, but thers always time to do it over
39. Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening
47. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
50. Never play leapfrog with a unicorn
52. If everybody seems to be going well, you obviously dont know what the hell is going on
54. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing
55. Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference

Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Tammie's law.

by blackwaltz89 May 26, 2023

step-co-first-cousin-once-removed-in-law

Spouse's step-first-cousin-once-removed's spouse.

step-co-first-cousin-once-removed-in-law.

by Simaduria July 27, 2024