My dog just told me he’s allergic to gluten. But dogs can’t talk and I don’t have a dog. I feel ket cunted.
by Geophph August 16, 2019
Get the Ket Cunted mug.Someone is a fucking donkey and annoys the fuck out of you. Commonly used as a term to describe shite footballers
by FuckRuiCosta January 4, 2021
Get the Twathouse Cunt mug.by BigGManMorgan August 11, 2017
Get the Shite Cunt mug.Dude 1: So what are you up to this weekend?
Dude 2: Some friends and I are going streaking through the chainsaw factory. That'll show old man Wilkins!
Dude 1: Sounds like a cunt plan.
Dude 2: Some friends and I are going streaking through the chainsaw factory. That'll show old man Wilkins!
Dude 1: Sounds like a cunt plan.
by thetanmancan1 June 20, 2011
Get the cunt plan mug.The act of parting the flange and enjoying the pink pleasures of a slightly questionable member of the female species that one may find in a place like Swindon on a Saturday evening. The sort of pleasure where the use of the curtain for cleaning purposes is absolutely essential following copulation.
Had a great tonight cunt cracking tonight fellas.... here, John... do you want to smell my finger?!?
by Myfingerstinks October 10, 2018
Get the cunt cracking mug.A humorous, historic unit of measure most often used to indicate a small variance in size, position, or spatial reference.
The width of a cunt hair as actually measured using a calibrated micrometer, typically ranges from .003" to .005" wide using the Imperial Standard, or .0762mm to .127mm Metric Standard.
The term is widely used and considered humorous among tradesmen, people in the military, or anyone wishing to express a small unit of measure or deviation from an established standard. The term cunt hair is also considered vulgar in many social situations where a familiarity or use of this expression is not common.
The term began as a humorous description at a time when measuring devices were crude and imprecise.
Until recently, the demarcation "cunt hair" had never been standardized. The new emerging standard measurement for a cunt hair is 1/64" Imperial.
This increment has been chosen to represent the term cunt hair because most often tradesmen will identify a "cunt hair" measurement as half the space between the 1/32" marks on their tape measure. It is also the smallest identifiable demarcation visible on a ruler or tape measure without the use magnifying aids. The case for this increment is further made by the abstract nature of pubic hair and it's inconsistencies of thickness. The humorous nature of this term, casual use and spontaneous reference negate the need for a scientific standard as it is never used for an actual documented measurement.
The width of a cunt hair as actually measured using a calibrated micrometer, typically ranges from .003" to .005" wide using the Imperial Standard, or .0762mm to .127mm Metric Standard.
The term is widely used and considered humorous among tradesmen, people in the military, or anyone wishing to express a small unit of measure or deviation from an established standard. The term cunt hair is also considered vulgar in many social situations where a familiarity or use of this expression is not common.
The term began as a humorous description at a time when measuring devices were crude and imprecise.
Until recently, the demarcation "cunt hair" had never been standardized. The new emerging standard measurement for a cunt hair is 1/64" Imperial.
This increment has been chosen to represent the term cunt hair because most often tradesmen will identify a "cunt hair" measurement as half the space between the 1/32" marks on their tape measure. It is also the smallest identifiable demarcation visible on a ruler or tape measure without the use magnifying aids. The case for this increment is further made by the abstract nature of pubic hair and it's inconsistencies of thickness. The humorous nature of this term, casual use and spontaneous reference negate the need for a scientific standard as it is never used for an actual documented measurement.
A sheet metal worker might say, "Move it a cunt hair to the left."
A carpenter would say, "Trim a cunt hair off that board and it will fit perfectly."
A sniper may indicate that "The shot missed by a cunt hair."
A carpenter would say, "Trim a cunt hair off that board and it will fit perfectly."
A sniper may indicate that "The shot missed by a cunt hair."
by Max Chatfield August 15, 2020
Get the Cunt Hair mug.I would be mad that my boyfriend keeps tweeting about his ex-gfs pussy, but she’s a slum cunt and looks like she was born in a pile of meth. Lol.
by Ew69696969 September 21, 2018
Get the Slum cunt mug.