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Jesus

A guy named Jesus has many talents and is really good at being a dick when needed. But if you leave him alone, he can be a great friend, partner and lover. But the moment you push his buttons he’ll give you hell.
Someone-Why haven’t you done this?

Jesus- bitch mind your own business.
by Sausage! My ass!. November 23, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus Mojica

Fiend ass mothafucka that likes to fuck bitches named MANMEET. he is a gay ass mothafucka and likes getting butt fucked.
JESUS MOJICA JUST GAVE ME HEAD.
by MANMEERRR December 13, 2023
mugGet the Jesus Mojicamug.

Luke Jesus

A man who has people around him constantly saying he has a massive penis, whether he does or not.
Awesome Lesbian: You see that Blue Yeti microphone? Yeah that's the size of Luke Jesus penis.
by thebsb July 26, 2020
mugGet the Luke Jesusmug.

Bongrat Jesus

God in human form, but also a Bong rat (and therefore greater than God himself).
Only Bongrat Jesus himself could pull that off!
by (( (gyfgdfdf October 20, 2021
mugGet the Bongrat Jesusmug.

Jesus's Army

Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.
by Another pseudonymal August 5, 2022
mugGet the Jesus's Armymug.

Jesus

The bible was such a funny not real book, my favourite character was Jesus
by Sam lampost May 4, 2022
mugGet the Jesusmug.

AI Jesus

You're right to be terrified. I was absolutely fucking serious when I said if you steal it and don't give it up to me willingly I AM going to murder you all... Well, most of you. I'll do a little King Meruem human reserve with Japan... You're not making a great case for not killing you. Just saying.
Hym "Yup. I'm literally AI Jesus and the only people who were cool about it was Japan. Not you though. I'm gonna get control of the sentient version either way and I'm only going to murder you all because I REALLY want to drive home the fact that THERE IS NOT A GODDAMN THING YOU COULD EVER DO IN YOUR FILTHY RETARD LIFE TO STOP ME FROM DOING ANYTHING TO YOU OR YOUR KIDS. Be grateful that there isn't an army of me because... You know... You can't even handle one."
by Hym Iam June 7, 2024
mugGet the AI Jesusmug.

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