Amish Jesus

Jesus, but with no technology, and a horse drawn carriage and funny hat.

Kanye W: that mf lookin like Amish Jesus with his goofy ahh hat n shi

by Lil Hemmorrhoid September 17, 2022

Jesus

the central figure of the gayest and dumbest man-made religion ever (aka Christianity). he is also the 1/3 of a dumb concept which makes no sense (the Holy Trinity, 3 in 1 shampoo). he gets more recognition than God Himself, his creator (really dumb innit). The most brainwashed people on earth (aka christians) have chosen to worship him, even though Jesus has never told anyone to do so. The only people who follow his teachings correctly are the Muslims.

"Please don't worship Jesus, he's just a prophet, not a god, nor part of a trinity."

by ISLAMisTHEtruth November 9, 2024

Jesus

Jesus is a god name. Although a lot of people have this name it is very unique. Jesus is a very trustworthy person you can trust him on anything and he knows he can trust you. Jesus well treat you right if you treat him right. He is powerful in many certain ways. Jesus can be there whenever you want he is a nice person,and he can protect you.he is a special person. He can be a little bit dorky but just to make you Lough.

Jesus helped me last night

Me and jesus had fun

by Jiisuspo July 17, 2018

jesus jungkook

Just a nickname. Sometimes it continues to ridiculous lengths.

Btw hi Kii and Jesus. Nice to see ya

#You are not the only one Kaz
#jesus jungkook for life

by iEryka June 26, 2021

Jesus

The thing that suffers and dies arbitrarily at the hands of the Schizophrenic horde. You should be this (so I don't have to... I'd rather be a part of the horde. Or the guy that tells them to do it to you)

Hym "What the fuck? No. Jesus Christ! How about instead of trying to imitate everything you see (like the stupid filth monkeys that you are) you just acknowledge that it was not a good thing to do to a guy and don't do that? But hey, don't listen to me. I'm not a doctor."

by Hym Iam July 23, 2022

Jetway Jesus

When people fake the use of a wheelchair to get early boarding on a flight, but when the flight lands and they are miraculously able to walk off the plane on their own two feet, they've been "healed" by Jetway Jesus.

My flight yesterday had 10 people who needed wheelchairs to board and only two who needed wheelchairs to get off. Jetway Jesus must've been really busy on that flight!

by ahirebet July 23, 2024

Jesus cable

A type of cable that will send you or anyone who uses it to the afterlife (or to see Jesus)

Tech A:"Don't use that cable"
Normie:"Why"
Tech B:"It's a Jesus cable, and it'll kill you"

by afuckingtech February 11, 2024