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jerking a turd

Jerk•ing•a•turd jerk-in-uh-turd

-adjective
1. Speculative term used to refer to someone's tardiness or absence.

2. late; absent; missing.
Question: "Where's the groom?"
Answer: "I don't know. He’s probably jerking a turd."

The ceremony starts at 3:00 PM sharp. You better be there - don’t be jerkin’ a turd.
by CongratulationsDave&Chrissy! August 29, 2010
mugGet the jerking a turdmug.

Hot jerk

Verb: After one returns from being outside in the cold, one then proceeds to run their hands under scalding hot water, and then begins to masturbate
Dude, after I shoveled the snow I rewarded myself with a hot jerk
by Zacharees73 February 10, 2015
mugGet the Hot jerkmug.

Wasabi Jerk

1. When one coats their hand in wasabi and proceeds to masturbate or perform a hand job.

OR
2.Jerking off in a Japanese restaurant.
"yo, i got this wicked sick wasabi jerk last night from Kim"

"My dick's still burning from that wasabi jerk before class this morning"
by FOADboner July 3, 2009
mugGet the Wasabi Jerkmug.

cave jerk

when one masturbates with his/her arm under one leg whilst making caveman noises
*knock knock*
"What's all that strange grunting?"

"wtf?!? I'm cave jerking in here!"
by ohmschode January 12, 2009
mugGet the cave jerkmug.

jerk tent

A tent you set up in your office that you use to jerk off in. It gives the user some needed extra privacy while jerking it at work.

Alternate Definition: A temporary shelter designed to allow one to jack it in the work place while not incuring a sexual harassemnt suit by showing their co-workers their business
I just bought a new jerk tent online. I can't wait until it gets here so I can jerk it.
by biglerm April 22, 2011
mugGet the jerk tentmug.

Circular jerk

Similar to circular logic; When people stroke themselves by stroking others. Very common in the corporate setting.
Board member: Mr. Peterson is doing a stellar job running this company. I'm so glad I cast the deciding vote to hire him.

Employee under breath: Running this company into the ground. Classic circular jerk, dude.
by m&jsandwich August 23, 2011
mugGet the Circular jerkmug.

high jerk

High Jerk- When two people high-five on your penis, and then proceed to jerk you off. It can be quite refreshing although, if done wrong, can permanently render the owner of said penis completely flaccid for life.
Oh man we high jerked that man so hard!
by TheTwinkleToes April 19, 2016
mugGet the high jerkmug.

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