Jeff

An ugly, old, balding white man. If your name is Jeff, hate yourself. Nothing alive likes you, especially your ex-wife. Your dreams are as broken as the car you drive. An old guy with feminine hips and a sickled back. The surface area of your forehead should be measured by science because it is physically impossible in size (unlike your penis). White as the day is bright. Nobody likes you (including the one parent that is living). If you feel insecure, you have every reason to be. People talk behind your back, and you know it. You desperately need a shower and revenge on whoever named you.

Dicky: I don't want to be here anymore.
Rob: At least you're not a Jeff.

Bob: They made up a new slang word!
Tanner: What is it?
Bob: Jeff! It means kill yourself.

by reputable_realist December 8, 2024

Jeff

Turning your back on humanity, siding with the small insect-like alien cybernetic lifeforms that encapsulate your body to form the mecha

Did you see how long it took the military to take that last mecha out?
Ya bro, the tide is turning
I can't believe how many people jeffed today!
Ya, bro
I mean, we are probably all going to die but, wtf?!?
Honestly . . . I was thinking about jeffing too
No! Not you too
Well ya, I think they made a good point
Bro . . . but . . . I mean, you're not wrong
Wait! Does this mean, we are going to jeff together?
I mean, the family is gone, the job, pfft . . . my dog
That broke you
Ya
Ya
Let's do it
Let's jeff this whole planet

by killsamurai August 18, 2024

Jeff

A seance of divorced dads getting together and having a beer.

Hey, you wanna go meet up at the Jeff this weekend?

by Hdiwbdudnsjwjsh March 25, 2024

jeff

a word to call ur bestie. full form jefferson

u are my jeff

by anonymous April 13, 2024

Jeff

Slightly soft, likes gardening and canning cucumbers, making salsa, being in weddings, probably had a colostomy at one point, and has definitely been to jail.

“That’s some great salsa, what a Jeff”

by Peppayourface September 30, 2025

Jeff

Jeff turns heads, in matter how you identify. He is a winner. Sometimes he sing, sometimes he plays trivia. Jeff is so smart he was born into Mensa. People ask where he bought his jeans, and assume he is in the military. His tattoos could be taken as a mean redneck, but somebody you don't want to make eye contact with on the street after 10pm. Don't play pool with Jeff. He might shoot off, but will always take your money. He is the cock of the walk and puts the “swag” in “swagger”.

Girl 1: Hey, did you see that guy doing a one-handed push-up?

Girl 2: That is Jeff, but people call him El Hefe.

Girl 1: That is legendary.

“The best preparation for tomorrow, is being Jeff today”.

by K2darizzle April 14, 2025

Jeff

Jeff turns heads, no matter how you identify. He is a winner. Sometimes he sings, sometimes he plays trivia. Jeff is so smart he was born into Mensa. People ask where he bought his jeans, and assume he is in the military. His tattoo is a barbed wire, so rusty it will give you tetanus if you make eye contact with it after 10pm on a Tuesday night. Don't play pool with Jeff. He will always take your money. Jeff is such a hot commodity that the only way to approach him is to win a street fight using broken beer bottles on MLK Drive. He is the cock of the walk and puts the “swag” in “swagger”.

Girl 1: Hey, did you see that guy doing a one-handed push-up?

Girl 2: That is Jeff, but people call him El Hefe.

Girl 1: That is legendary.

“The best preparation for tomorrow, is being Jeff today”.

by K2darizzle April 14, 2025