Twilight hair

When the hair on the front of the victim's head is more or less perpendicular to the ground while trying, with the rest of the hair, to achieve a believable swirlyness/swishyness in order to appear "naturally" Edwardian. Needless to say the effect is invariably embarrassing for witnesses and should be mortifying for the victim as well--however, it has been found that accompanying the "Twilight hair" are severe hallucinations (visual, auditory, command, olfactory and tactile (both rare), and general somatic sensations). These are believed to be brought on by the use of excessive (even dangerous) amounts of hair products. A case of "Twilight hair" that has not advanced past the first stage can usually be cured with a normal mirror, using a second mirror to show the victim the rest of his hair if necessary. The second stage requires vigorous washing of the hair and then forty-eight hours of isolation and close observation. The third stage is much worse. The victim by this time must be fully restrained and, after the hair has been scoured clean, he must be shaved. After four months he may be allowed to grow his hair past an eighth of an inch. Regression indicates permanent damage and the victim should be institutionalized, or, more humanely, gutshot.

The predecessor of "Twilight hair" was Cameron Diaz's temporary hairstyle in "Something About Mary".

by hippie.goth September 18, 2011

Black Hair Dysmorphia

The constant feeling that your hair is not black enough, even after only dying it recently.

“Why are you dying your black hair black? You must have black hair dysmorphia”

by Captainbirdseyecreampie October 13, 2023

Hag Hair

Tussled hair following sexual activity, that typically goes unnoticed during the activity, but seems more obvious afterwards.

Linda: I totally want you. Please take me!
Ace: You got it babe.

<sometime later>

Ace: Wow! Linda that was awesome, but you have some serious hag hair brewing.
Linda: Well, if I do, I suppose I have you to thank.

by The Jungle Prophet October 15, 2023

Hybrid Hair

Adult male hair on the top of the head grown long beyond typical corporate standards during the pandemic and kept while gradually returning to the office.

Did you see Bob's new hybrid hair? It's not easy to notice on the video conference calls, since he pulls it back into a ponytail.

by defleggend October 20, 2023

long hair dysmorphia

The feeling that your hair is never long enough even if it is really long and thick.

“Your hair has really grown, it’s so long”
“I don’t think it is at all, I think I have long hair dysmorphia.”

by yoyomynameishoe October 22, 2023

dark-haired fem

A queer woman with dark hair who will look like an Angel but completely mess with your mind

She won’t stop falling for dark-haired fems even though it never ends well

by Queeeeeeeeeeer October 29, 2023

My Fat Ugly Gross Disgusting Despicable Delectable Suckulent Fuckulent juicy tender balls that smoother cares your check as the hairs do a little tickle you fuck

Juicy-er than fried chicken

Hey how about I tell you about My Fat Ugly Gross Disgusting Despicable Delectable Suckulent Fuckulent juicy tender balls that smoother cares your check as the hairs do a little tickle you fuck

by PandaJizz42 November 3, 2023