fucking retarded cunt
fucking retarded cunt by Dicknuts67 May 31, 2021
Scremus Retardis Kerenis
A special type of the (Homo Sapiens Sapiens) also known as the modern human, this specimen has a limited vocabulary, only being capable of speaking words like "refund, manager, and free", while being able to parrot some other words. They are an extremely demanding specimen who are ill mannered, short tempered and are best kept at a safe distance, and anyone unfortunate enough to encounter them in the wild should make sure to keep a good distance from them if possible. Should you be unlucky enough to encounter one while possessing a job in the service industry, the best way to deal with them is to follow your training, remaining calm at all times and if the situation doesn’t sort itself, get backup from a manager.
*Karen at the clothes store*
Karen: I have a 50% off coupon for this, * hands over coupon*.
Cashier: I’m sorry Miss, but this coupon is only valid for Men’s wear at full price which would make this more expensive than this already is, since this is at a 60% clearance sale, in addition this coupon expired last week.
Karen: But I couldn’t make it last week so I called to ask if it could be extended and I got a yes to that.
Cashier: Well I’m sorry but we can’t give extensions without a managers approval.
*Karen gets frustrated and starts screaming at the cashier that she needs this at 110% off, and makes a big scene. A couple of customers behind her, an Aussie with his bird as well as his best friend stands in line watching the commotion unfold*
Aussie: Hey, that Karen looks a lot like a Scremus Retardis Kerenis right?
Best friend: Yeah, I didn’t think I’d be able to see one in the wild, it’s amazing how she can actually act like that, I would’ve died of embarrassment if my wife acted like that.
Karen: I have a 50% off coupon for this, * hands over coupon*.
Cashier: I’m sorry Miss, but this coupon is only valid for Men’s wear at full price which would make this more expensive than this already is, since this is at a 60% clearance sale, in addition this coupon expired last week.
Karen: But I couldn’t make it last week so I called to ask if it could be extended and I got a yes to that.
Cashier: Well I’m sorry but we can’t give extensions without a managers approval.
*Karen gets frustrated and starts screaming at the cashier that she needs this at 110% off, and makes a big scene. A couple of customers behind her, an Aussie with his bird as well as his best friend stands in line watching the commotion unfold*
Aussie: Hey, that Karen looks a lot like a Scremus Retardis Kerenis right?
Best friend: Yeah, I didn’t think I’d be able to see one in the wild, it’s amazing how she can actually act like that, I would’ve died of embarrassment if my wife acted like that.
Scremus Retardis Kerenis by Mikkebak July 24, 2021
Related Words
retard • retarded • retardation • retardism • retardo • retardis • retard strength • retardican • retardulous • retarding
wake-up retardation
A condition in which a person does, says, or thinks stupid things because he has just woken up and is not fully functional yet.
wake-up retardation by Mr. Sneakers September 21, 2009
hide-the-cutlery retarded
Typically this is a comment about someone who is really stupid, or so unconcerned about their safety that measures need to be taken in order to protect them from themselves and others from their dangerous tendencies.
Alternately, this might indicate how high on drugs a group of friends will get.
Alternately, this might indicate how high on drugs a group of friends will get.
Exhibit A:
John: My cousin is coming over today and he's really really retarded. I have to hide the cutlery or he'll eat it, throw it at his eye, or jam it into a blender and start pressing buttons while dancing nude in the kitchen rubbing egg yolk and flour over his genitals.
John's friend: That is: hide-the-cutlery retarded.
Exhibit B:
Louise: My boyfriend gets so stoned after parties he pukes and sleeps in it frequently, and I'm really worried that he might hurt himself. Last week I found him so stoned that he was doing hot-knives in the bedroom and he fell asleep with the torch on. Luckily he didn't knock it over when he started convulsing.
Louise's friend: He sounds like he's hide-the-cutlery retarded. Just hide the knives and maybe he won't try doing any late night hot-knife sessions?
Exhibit C:
Mark: Dude I just scored a 1/4 lb of some prime Jamaican gummy hash!!!
Mark's friend: Let's get hide-the-cutlery retarded!!!!!
Mark: FUCK YEAH!!!!
John: My cousin is coming over today and he's really really retarded. I have to hide the cutlery or he'll eat it, throw it at his eye, or jam it into a blender and start pressing buttons while dancing nude in the kitchen rubbing egg yolk and flour over his genitals.
John's friend: That is: hide-the-cutlery retarded.
Exhibit B:
Louise: My boyfriend gets so stoned after parties he pukes and sleeps in it frequently, and I'm really worried that he might hurt himself. Last week I found him so stoned that he was doing hot-knives in the bedroom and he fell asleep with the torch on. Luckily he didn't knock it over when he started convulsing.
Louise's friend: He sounds like he's hide-the-cutlery retarded. Just hide the knives and maybe he won't try doing any late night hot-knife sessions?
Exhibit C:
Mark: Dude I just scored a 1/4 lb of some prime Jamaican gummy hash!!!
Mark's friend: Let's get hide-the-cutlery retarded!!!!!
Mark: FUCK YEAH!!!!
hide-the-cutlery retarded by bloodchills July 21, 2010
Rejard
Only a rejard would think of diving into a pool with no water!
C. Bunks likes Hawaiian pizza??!! He must be a rejard!!
C. Bunks likes Hawaiian pizza??!! He must be a rejard!!
Rejard by Righteous Ry!! October 12, 2005
rertard
rertard by Insert name in this box February 13, 2018
Blackberry Ratard
One who is constantly blowing you up via Blackberry Messenger to ask mundane questions about the functionality of his/her Blackberry device and its intricacies.
Section 8: "WTF is http error 413?"
IT Guy: "File to large.....change Internet browser settings.....you Blackberry Ratard!!"
IT Guy: "File to large.....change Internet browser settings.....you Blackberry Ratard!!"
Blackberry Ratard by CAJONES5 June 12, 2010