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Edward Scissorhandjob

A handjob that could be outdone by even Edward Scissorhands himself. A destructive atrocity of a basic sexual maneuver.
Guy 1: Dude, why are your boxers red in the front, but white everywhere else.
Guy 2: Those are the same boxers I wore when I got that Edward Scissorhandjob.
by Harold93 July 20, 2011
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Edwards

The act of ejaculating in your sister and screaming "GANG WEED"
Dude did you hear? Jacob pulled off an Edwards!
by hghfhgghg July 26, 2018
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Thomas Edward Nigel Forsythe Johnnington III

A typical British man. Posh probably, and drinks tea. Don't call him Tom.
Thomas Edward Nigel Forsythe Johnnington III
by EasternEuropeanSlavLover February 23, 2023
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Edward Cullen

A fictional vampire from the Twlight series. He is apperantly "the perfect guy", so perfect in fact that all girls gain ridiculously high standards after reading about him.

Despite the fact that he is one - fictional, two - the living undead, and three - a creep that will watch girls sleep; girls still want him more and more.

He has the ability to fly, turn others into vampires, sparkle (gay), and apparently steal the girlfriend of a guy with the voted-on title "most amazing boyfriend"
Girl: Listen sweatheart, we need to break up.
Guy: Wait why? You just said that I was the most amazing boyfriend that you've ever had. Your friends even voted on it.
Girl: You are...
Guy: Then why do you want to break uo? Is there another guy?
Girl: Yes.
Guy: ...
Girl: You see, you're here *raises hand up to forehead-level* but, Edward Cullen is up here *raises other hand about 2 inches higher*.
Guy: ... Wait are you really dumping me because of a fictional vampire?
Girl: Yes...
by EdwardCullenMustDie December 15, 2009
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Edward Cullens Sparkle Pyre Pussy Bitch

Defenition 1
A term used to describe a complete and total mega douche asshole who gets a woman because he looks or acts like Edward Cullen.

Defenition 2
Also can be used as an insult to someone who thinks their to good (for whatever their reason is) to fight you.

In both versions it tends to be said quickly so as to partially confuse who its being used on and for the fact that it sounds better that way though its not necessary.
Example 1
Bob: Hey did you see Kirstens new boy friend

Fred:yeah he's just an Edward Cullens Sparkle Pyre Pussy Bitch

Example 2
Joe: Hey man I don't want to fight your not worth it

George: Oh looks like we got an Edward Cullens Sparkle Pyre Pussy Bitch on our hands here
by Insanities_Savior April 10, 2010
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Edward Cullen

A FICTIONAL character in Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga. He is a vampire who does not feed off human blood and sparkles like a diamond in the sun.

His hobbies include watching his 100 year younger girlfriend sleep, watching said girl through others' minds, keeping his virginity, being over-protective, committing suicide and fighting with werewolves.

Many girls have fallen in love with Edward, for he seems to possess some of the best qualities in a man. Countless teenagers have broken up with their boyfriends for not "being more like Edward".

Edward is: a stalker, pedophile, abusive, creepy and really sketchy. But he's sexy, compassionate, intense, stubborn, gorgeous, intelligent, mature and undead.
Edward Cullen is in love with Bella Swan. Good luck, cause she is one whiny chick.
by QuoteGirl December 28, 2009
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Edward

If you find a Edward Keep Him And I mean it he has Good dick and Make you moan like a joyride to heaven so get you a Edward And keep Him
Oh yeah baby give it to me then boom youll want him forever Edward Is the best you can have Sexy ,Charming and A ladys man
by BestDef967 May 8, 2018
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