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alternize

To use a different (alternate) approach to solving a problem when the standard approach doesn't work, an approach that is less complicated than improvising.
There was no bell at the hotel front desk, so we alternized by saying "ding, ding" until the clerk came out of the back room.
by JBoftheWikipedia July 24, 2009
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alternative anonymous meetings

Refers to the more light-hearted/trivial-affliction-related (i.e., non-substance-abuse or other serious-addiction-type condition) gatherings of sufferers where everyone shares life-stories and fellowship, and tries to assist each other in reducing/alleviating said unfortunate conditions/infirmities. Examples would include Belchers Anonymous (at all the other meetings listed here, they serve you tasty carbonated drinks, but at this meeting, you only get non-fizzy libation so that you won't start burping!), Bellyachers Anonymous, Colliders Anonymous (for folks who often clumsily blunder into objects/people), Foot-steppers Anonymous (again, this would be for those of you who don't adequately watch where you're walking, and so you accidentally tread on others' toes a lot), Groaners Anonymous (they seat you in chairs with heating-pads and offer you pain-relievers), Grumblers Anonymous, Stumblers Anonymous, Whiners Anonymous, Yawners Anonymous (at all the other meetings they let you sit on comfy upholstered chairs, but here they make you sit on hard wooden benches so that you don't get too relaxed and then start sleepily displaying your tonsils), etc.
One amusing fact about alternative anonymous meetings is that quite a number of any particular meeting's attendees may also suffer from a lot of the maladies and shortcomings addressed in other anonymous meetings, as well (i.e., achy people who copiously moan and groan also tend to complain a lot and mindlessly bumble into and/or step on the feet of unsuspecting souls unfortunate enough to happen to be in their paths), and so you tend to see a lot of familiar faces at many of the various meetings.
by QuacksO July 12, 2019
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chocolate-milk alternative

Refers to a "just as bad or worse" substitution-product/activity employed to supposedly "fill the void" created by a discontinued unhealthy habit --- the idea here is that while the milk itself may indeed be low-fat, the added calorie-rich and sugary-sweet chocolate has far more fattening ingredients than just the cream in full-fat milk could possibly have contained, and so the person will likely gain even more weight than ever.
Three classic --- and very tragic --- examples of a "chocolate-milk alternative" would be a substance-abuse recovery-program's giving a dry-drunk lots of high-sugar foods in place of alcohol, someone's switching to compulsive shopping in place of gambling, or a person's becoming harshly-snappy and irritably-demanding after giving up cigarettes.
by QuacksO November 5, 2018
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Functionally Alternative

A person or persons whom are unable to operate a hammer or tools in general but are extremely capable with knowledge.
Suzan is functionally alternative, she might hurt herself with a soup spoon but she'll hurt you with her knowledge of appropriate Shakespeare insults.
by GridSquid September 2, 2022
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Alternating Caps

The ultimately way to disprove a common myth.
"You can't convey sarcasm through text."

Alternating Caps: "Hold my beer"
by Ubeenbamboozledson April 24, 2024
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Alternate Good Will Hunting ending

A few unhappy endings that an audience wouldn't like that would turn Good Will Hunting from a comedy to something else are Matt Damon doesn't go to California to look for the girl, she cries inconsolable for a short while, then marries another guy, while Matt Damon stays in Boston going to Little League games long enough for Ben Affleck to follow through on his promise of killing him (a fact and not a threat in his words). Ben Affleck would think he was doing the world a favor, kind of like the Of Mice and Men story, and puts a bullet in the back of his head down by the river, dropping his body to the bottom. Another possibility Robin Williams provided was for Matt Damon to become another unabomber, perhaps he puts a bomb in the mailbox for Skylar's husband to open, but instead of him being the one to check the mail that day, Skylar is disfigured forever or killed by the bomb when she opens the mailbox, and Matt Damon has to live with that for the rest of his life. There's more possibilities than just those two that nobody explored.
An alternate Good Will Hunting ending would have been more interesting than the one the audience got.
by The Original Agahnim June 19, 2021
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Alternative energy utopia

The highest evolutionary form of the regressive. greern new deal
The green new deal. If not reversed, will inevitably lead to an alternative energy utopia
by Sexydimma July 15, 2022
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